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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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xTIGERxLILYx

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xTIGERxLILYx
  • Town/Country : Arlington, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 March 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 5852
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About xTIGERxLILYx : I am a dinosaur.

xTIGERxLILYx's last visitors

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xTIGERxLILYx's favorite FMLs

Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML

#8555278 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (8530) - you deserved it (13107)

On 02/22/2010 at 2:51pm - misc - by sacked (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the pictures from last night's party were put on Facebook. The pictures that show me getting in a drunken fight with a girl and her putting my face through the wall. FML

#8477900 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (4095) - you deserved it (21213)

On 02/20/2010 at 12:29pm - misc - by creamed (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML

#7501218 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (29713) - you deserved it (2357)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by Funnymann - United States

Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML

#7482237 (50)

I agree, your life sucks (38297) - you deserved it (2701)

On 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by hardtotell (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted,"Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML

#6824499 (66)

I agree, your life sucks (23122) - you deserved it (1604)

On 12/19/2009 at 4:44am - misc - by embaressed (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up and found that someone had taken a dump on my car. They'd apparently felt bad about it, as they'd then keyed "sorry" into the door. FML

#6631628 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (31186) - you deserved it (1347)

On 12/06/2009 at 8:24am - misc - by flying_vegan - United Kingdom

Today, I spent 30 minutes trying to find my glasses. I don't know whats worse, the fact that I was wearing them the whole time, or that my girlfriend played along and helped me look for them. FML

#6594028 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (6903) - you deserved it (19850)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by wobbles (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML

#6553131 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (35967) - you deserved it (5754)

On 12/01/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by xXxJoe16xXx - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to start my truck that I had parked in my driveway after a longhaul. The fuel gauge indicated I had a full tank. I didn't fill up. My neighbours' son decided to fill the tank with water with a hose. 150 litres worth on top of diesel. His dad's response: "Kids eh, what ya gonna do?" FML

#6449145 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (26308) - you deserved it (1500)

On 11/25/2009 at 5:24pm - kids - by driver (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I fell asleep in a lecture. I laughed at something amusing in Dreamworld, but the laugh came out as a prolonged creepy groan in Lectureworld. I woke up to see everyone within a 5 meter radius staring at me. FML

#6286266 (71)

I agree, your life sucks (13083) - you deserved it (8399)

On 11/13/2009 at 10:53am - misc - by teepee - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, my boyfriend of five years gave me the silent treatment, refusing to talk to me or do anything more than glare at me during the entire three hour drive we took this morning. Why? Because I slept with his best friend. In his dream last night. FML

#6021722 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (46966) - you deserved it (4586)

On 10/27/2009 at 9:27am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was sitting in my bed drinking Yoohoo from a juice box. I decided it would be fun to see how much I could fit in my mouth. As soon as my mouth was full, I sneezed. FML

#5948720 (78)

I agree, your life sucks (5802) - you deserved it (24572)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to buy my prom dress. I felt really good as I walked out of the dressing room, until someone walked out of the room next to me wearing the same dress, and looked better in it than I did. It was a man buying it for his drag show. FML

#5815920 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (21465) - you deserved it (2535)

On 10/13/2009 at 1:26pm - misc - by draggirl (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, whilst on a date I recieved my sixth missed call from my mother. I excused myself and went outside and called her, she and my father wanted to know why I was having dinner and holding hands with another man. It turns out they were also on a date. At the same place. FML

#4950389 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (34264) - you deserved it (8090)

On 08/31/2009 at 9:54am - love - by crawfo (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML

#2736001 (253)

I agree, your life sucks (67507) - you deserved it (3576)

On 06/09/2009 at 4:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)