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xSaru

Offline (the 03/11/2014 at 9:12pm) | Search for a member

xSaru

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 705
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About xSaru : Always on my phone when I'm here, so I might not notice messages. Sorry. nichibotsu @ instagram

xSaru's page activity

Visits<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 10:00pm<b>ForeverSilent101</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 1:00am<b>Sandsh8rk</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 8:36pm<b>WildHorses1987</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 8:01pm<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 3:44am<b>acdeaver</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 4:38pm<b>iireenee</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 7:56am<b>commanderstiff</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 2:48am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 3:02pm<b>doodlebug99</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 11:51am<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 11:41am<b>Wrex</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 11:40am<b>itzjstnx</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 3:53am<b>lmfaofmllmafo</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 4:42pm<b>okcnation</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 6:21am<b>Advait07</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 5:44am<b>ThatsStoryOfLife</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 3:46pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 11:28am

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xSaru's favorite FMLs

Today, after doing it with my girlfriend, she told me that she was "faking the whole time, and thinking of talking cupcakes." FML

#12910894
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26228) - you deserved it (7470)

On 09/05/2010 at 12:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my best friend thought it would look cool if I recorded her swinging while lying under the swing. She ended up kicking me in the face and laughing so hard she pissed on me. FML

#12522582
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34108) - you deserved it (18535)

On 08/14/2010 at 4:43pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally got my first kiss. I was so excited, I pissed myself. FML

#11324047
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39938) - you deserved it (27068)

On 06/20/2010 at 1:12am - love - by PissyPants (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

#8158295
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30131) - you deserved it (2293)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got my first tattoo. When I showed my boyfriend, he asked where I got the design. I told him I saw it in a sketch book of his. He designed it for his last girlfriend, who got it in the same place. FML

#5336281
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17108) - you deserved it (53897)

On 09/18/2009 at 6:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

#3262847
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8903) - you deserved it (114677)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by notinflammable (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML

#3120236
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50253) - you deserved it (4914)

On 06/22/2009 at 2:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML

#2932416
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72463) - you deserved it (5365)

On 06/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on top of my boyfriend having sex and I was looking away doing my thing. When I looked back, my boyfriend had headphones on and was playing air drums. FML

Today, my boyfriend was in the shower, and I decided to go join him. I took all my clothes off and stepped into the bathroom. I slipped on some water, and ended up hitting my head on the toilet and passing out. When I came to, I saw my boyfriend's dad looking over me in his towel. Wrong person. FML

#796416
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74451) - you deserved it (40912)

On 04/04/2009 at 4:04am - intimacy - by showerstupid (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my cat got into the bathroom while I was changing my tampon. As I was throwing the applicator away, I felt a sharp pain around my vagina; I looked down to find him swatting at the tampon string. FML

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML

#97729
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91647) - you deserved it (6871)

On 02/21/2009 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML

#48381
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42853) - you deserved it (9448)

On 02/15/2009 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Noname - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally called her Brad (one of my roomates name) when I came. Now her and her friends think i'm gay and my roomate Brad moved out. FML

#3435
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37523) - you deserved it (29519)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by GavinHosler - United States (Michigan)



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