Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xSaru

Offline (the 11/13/2015 at 1:38am) | Search for a member

xSaru

8Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1888
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About xSaru : ♡ Anime. Manga. RPG. Cats. Sushi. Pretty stuff. ♡ Nichibotsu @ instagram

xSaru's page activity

Visits<b>dantee2005</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 11:58am<b>8Dirty1</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 1:27pm<b>RusticChick</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 8:48pm<b>Kevinmeowbeanz</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 6:44pm<b>vreid</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 2:33pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 8:00pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 6:06pm<b>Scourge13</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 9:43pm<b>GrimReefer66</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 11:55am<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 12:26am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 5:07pm<b>JDub1031</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 11:40am<b>lulumars</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 4:38am<b>khoov19</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 10:17am<b>moron011</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 8:34pm<b>HowleyB124</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 6:13am<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 3:50pm<b>tori3700</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 10:43pm

Fucked!<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 2:01am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 6:36am<b>khoov19</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 4:17pm<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 9:50pm<b>commanderstiff</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 12:35am<b>morondon000</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 9:19am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 9:41pm<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 1:40am

xSaru's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of xSaru's badges

xSaru's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was having sex, he stopped, looked at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?" FML

#20458937
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48132) - you deserved it (9767)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

#20436012
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55642) - you deserved it (4229)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML

#20072555
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28811) - you deserved it (2912)

On 09/15/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by not the scalpel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML

#20056463
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22636) - you deserved it (2979)

On 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by weave9z (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML

#20056354
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20767) - you deserved it (26387)

On 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Loserbot (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, there's a cricket in my apartment. I don't know if I'm more annoyed by the fact that it somehow got up three flights of stairs to get here, or that my cat is so excited about it that he's jumping on me and howling in my face to announce the cricket's presence instead of killing it. FML

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

#19995628
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61837) - you deserved it (11609)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I found out where all my missing panties have gone, when my 12-year-old daughter was caught selling them to the boys at school. FML

#19598679
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31285) - you deserved it (3228)

On 05/09/2012 at 6:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML

#19595631
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20470) - you deserved it (34556) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/08/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by Mouhahaa (man) - France

Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML

#19594950
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35716) - you deserved it (3421)

On 05/08/2012 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by laury - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my daughter attempting to iron her pants with a hair straightener. She's 17. FML

#19590770
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24548) - you deserved it (6031)

On 05/08/2012 at 2:08am - kids - by SomePeoplesKids - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

#19297004
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30402) - you deserved it (4879)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)

Today, while coming out of Walmart, I dropped a $50 bill. Some kid came running up after me yelling, "Hey mister, you dropped this!" as he ran past me laughing. FML

#19292961
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31164) - you deserved it (4407)

On 03/17/2012 at 9:04am - money - by dhbeaver - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was holding my 3 year old brother, and apparently he thinks it's hilarious to pull my tank top down and scream ''BOOBS!'' in public. FML

#19093688
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34155) - you deserved it (4801)

On 02/16/2012 at 2:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: