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xSaru

Offline (9 hours ago) | Search for a member

xSaru

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 873
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About xSaru : Always on my phone when I'm here, so I might not notice messages. Sorry. nichibotsu @ instagram

xSaru's page activity

Visits<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 10:58pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 6:34pm<b>EvilVein</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 11:01pm<b>buzzboy2389</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 4:45am<b>doud</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 3:05am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 10:00pm<b>ForeverSilent101</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 1:00am<b>Sandsh8rk</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 8:36pm<b>WildHorses1987</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 8:01pm<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 3:44am<b>acdeaver</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 4:38pm<b>iireenee</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 7:56am<b>commanderstiff</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 2:48am<b>doodlebug99</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 11:51am<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 11:41am<b>Wrex</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 11:40am<b>itzjstnx</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 3:53am<b>lmfaofmllmafo</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 4:42pm

xSaru's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of xSaru's badges

xSaru's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML

#20510302
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38592) - you deserved it (9271)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he found out my birthday is the same day as his, and he thinks we are twins who were separated at birth. FML

#20505216
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39929) - you deserved it (3066)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by okay then (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

#20495511
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30284) - you deserved it (4343)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML

#20495499
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43186) - you deserved it (4018)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:38am - love - by PokeWife (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML

#20494543
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35657) - you deserved it (3154)

On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after nearly 5 months of trying for a baby, I found out my wife has continued to take the pill as it gave her a better idea of her cycle and thus when she'd be "most fertile". FML

#20492131
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40963) - you deserved it (4483)

On 02/03/2013 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by jdrew32 - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML

#20489987
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31041) - you deserved it (19823)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by ineedalife (woman) - Australia

Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML

#20486320
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34229) - you deserved it (2832)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:59pm - health - by cay - United States (New York)

Today, I learned it's a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing your phone off the balcony and sticking your cigarette into your pocket. FML

#20485916
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11551) - you deserved it (53810)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:13am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36853) - you deserved it (2410)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

#20470929
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48631) - you deserved it (5856)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

#20462136
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36552) - you deserved it (3835)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by WTF (man) -

Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML

#20461359
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31404) - you deserved it (2794)

On 01/15/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by veggieluver (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned my neighbor can access my wireless printer from his house after it started printing off pictures of what I'm assuming is his penis. FML

#20461046
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42782) - you deserved it (7088)

On 01/15/2013 at 4:58pm - intimacy - by itsrathersmall (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, while I was having sex, he stopped, looked at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?" FML

#20458937
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44295) - you deserved it (9215)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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Friday 17 October 2014

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