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Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37125) - you deserved it (2815)
On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - money - by SnuggieOverload (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I realized my job is so boring that I spend most of my time trying to take a dump than actually working. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23352) - you deserved it (4572)
On 09/15/2009 at 10:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I found out that my boss plays a trick on all the interns. He calls you to his office, then leaves you waiting outside until you get annoyed and leave. Apparently, the old record was 45mins. I waited 4 hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36705) - you deserved it (7985)
On 09/15/2009 at 5:32pm - work - by stillwaiting (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, I was on a 12 hour trans-Atlantic flight overseas. I asked the flight attendant where this rancid smell was coming from. The guy sitting next to me started laughing, saying, "Sorry, something I ate is not agreeing with me." This was hour 1 of the flight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30205) - you deserved it (1518)
On 09/10/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by whatsmccraken (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-wan)
Today, at my wedding reception, my father began his speech with "Well, I never, ever thought that this day would come," at which point the entire room, including my new husband, broke into a round of enthusiastic applause. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32462) - you deserved it (3190)
On 08/08/2009 at 3:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my cat came through my window, holding a dead rat in her mouth and dropped it in my pile of clothes. I then asked my dad if he could get the dead rat out of my room. After looking for an hour, he couldn't find it. Guess the rat wasn't dead after all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33818) - you deserved it (2561)
On 07/18/2009 at 11:12pm - animals - by omgjessp (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I used a public bathroom. I hung my purse up on the hook on the door. Two minutes later, a hand reaches over the door and steals my purse. I got robbed while taking a crap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41194) - you deserved it (5710)
On 07/18/2009 at 6:32pm - misc - by xobeachbabi428ox - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I spilt purple washing detergent all over my white carpet. Desperate to get it up I grabbed a blue towel and started mopping it up. The detergent hasn't stained the carpet at all, the blue dye from the towel has. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15576) - you deserved it (22367)
On 06/21/2009 at 12:20pm - misc - by carpetoops (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was with my 14 year old son when we saw a baby sparrow being attacked by four or five blackbirds. We rushed up, waving our arms and scared away the much bigger attackers. The baby sparrow ran toward us for protection, then went past both of us and ran straight down a storm sewer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41923) - you deserved it (2944)
On 06/05/2009 at 12:56pm - misc - by Pierce (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, at Jiffy Lube a woman and her 4 year-old son were waiting at the checkout counter. As I walk by them, her son mistakes me for his father and holds my hand. The woman immediately grabs her son's wrist, looks at me, and says "Sicko." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46880) - you deserved it (1859)
On 05/27/2009 at 2:37pm - misc - by thebigpeezy - United States
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33765) - you deserved it (109269)
On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had a really bad day at work and the only thing that was getting me through the day was the idea of taking a nice, hot, relaxing bath. When I got to my front door there was a shut off notice from the gas company. I won't be taking any hot baths until I come up with the $500 bill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17170) - you deserved it (34449)
On 05/13/2009 at 5:44pm - money - by director416 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I picked up my passport, as my previous one was damaged in a car crash. As the teller warns me that a pattern of damaged passports will result in longer processing periods, she spills her coffee - all over my new passport. I'm supposed to go overseas in a month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48617) - you deserved it (1300)
On 05/07/2009 at 12:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)
Today, I was surfing and trying to impress some girls on the beach. While I was out in the water, a jellyfish wrapped itself around my torso. I started to yell and freak out, making a huge scene. I grabbed it off of me, only to realize that I was freaking out over a plastic grocery bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13612) - you deserved it (40054)
On 04/11/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by effingawwesome (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, while lying next to me, my boyfriend smiled and told me, "I really like your eyes. They're pretty." He paused and then finished with, "They really help your face." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44541) - you deserved it (2660)
On 04/10/2009 at 1:13pm - love - by ruvru - United States (Michigan)
Monday 20 May 2013
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