xNephilim

Search for a member

Offline (the 04/07/2015 at 3:16pm)

xNephilim

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 6 March 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3908
  • Number of comments : 1147
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 31 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

xNephilim's page activity

Visits<b>nickinoodle</b> - 5 hours ago<b>Dalboz</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 2:58am<b>player20270</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 11:29pm<b>eyepuppy</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 6:54am<b>CourtBed24</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 6:49am<b>sandormatyi</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 9:05am<b>Erebos_</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 3:57am<b>miss_fluffybutt</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 6:54pm<b>babygirlllllll</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 4:30am<b>sloosh</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 3:00am<b>Doberman101</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 12:40pm<b>Gooddrark</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 5:53pm<b>Peter0629</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 11:04pm<b>jill97</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 11:03am<b>1234lily1234</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 3:22am<b>Bgrish</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 2:07pm<b>kmdoshi8</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 10:08pm<b>tweak2011</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 9:19pm

Fucked!<b>miss_fluffybutt</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 12:54am<b>niksatter96</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 9:48pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 11:34pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 12:56am<b>AvengingAngelx</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 6:00am

xNephilim's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of xNephilim's badges

xNephilim's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out the animal that was gnawing behind the kitchen wall all night was indeed a wild rat and his entire family. FML

by rattness / 12/07/2010 at 2:12pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went shopping with my parents. Halfway through, I got separated from them and tried to call them only to find out my cell phone battery was flat. A few minutes later, an announcement was made for a lost child. It was by my parents. I'm 36. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2010 at 2:35am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I got back from a two week holiday only to discover my dog missing. After looking for him at animal shelters and putting up missing pet signs, my room mate admitted he lost him in a game of drunk poker. FML

by therealducktape / 08/20/2010 at 6:03pm / Animals

Today, I decided to clear up some storm damage. I carefully cut a tree that was threatening to fall on my house. It fell on my neighbor's house instead. He's taking me to court for damages. FML

by Zinfandel / 08/07/2010 at 2:04am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at McDonald's, I saw an 8 year old girl licking a life-size Ronald McDonald sitting on a bench. Being concerned, I told her mother who then yelled at me for 10 minutes for being a "paedophile" and "being turned on by an 8 year old girl." FML

by JackG / 03/02/2010 at 8:20pm / United States (Montana) / Kids

Today, my roommate brought a kitten to the apartment. I hate cats, and probably sensing this, the thing clawed me right in the crotch. I of course am not going to say a thing because I happen to be in love with my roommate, but she has no clue how much I hate this thing. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2010 at 7:29pm / United States (South Dakota) / Love

Today, I was doing takeout orders at the restaurant I work at. I spent a long while putting together this guy's $135.00 order. When he finally got there to pick it up, I told him to fill out the credit card slip. I looked at it after he left. He gave me a 40 cent tip. FML

by richgirl / 02/24/2010 at 7:15pm / United States (Alabama) / Work

Today, I was robbed at work. The guy stole my cell phone, bag, and laptop. Because of the robbery, I had to close the store two and a half hours early. My boss decided to dock my hours. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2010 at 2:44am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, my mom asked me if I would be embarrassed if she got a tramp stamp. FML

by Anonymous / 01/28/2010 at 8:12pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met on-line. While cuddling on the couch, he asked me for a blow job. I refused. He said, "But I thought big girls liked doing that." FML

by writer4life / 01/17/2010 at 12:30am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my friends let me win at strip poker so I wouldn't take off my clothes. FML

by Absent / 01/12/2010 at 12:42am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriends and I got a caricature painting while on a trip in the city. Unfortunately for me, the part of my appearance that the artist decided to exaggerate was my acne. FML

by fmylifegirl / 12/29/2009 at 3:59pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Health

Today, in aerobics, while stretching, my friend leaned over to pull the long hair off my pants. It was my pubic hair sticking through my pants, and I screamed. FML

by cookscatastrophy / 12/08/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2009 at 6:44am / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, I received a three-time forwarded message which I thought would turn out to be a random chain message. Turns out my boyfriend didn't want to send me the "break-up text" himself and figured it would get to me eventually after sending it to all my best friends. FML

by Kalaina / 10/25/2009 at 12:36am / Love