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xNephilim

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xNephilim
  • Town/Country : Pembroke, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 6 March 1993 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 2442
  • Number of comments : 1059
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 29 posted

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xNephilim's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

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xNephilim's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount of whiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. FML

#17365411
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12902) - you deserved it (54433)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:41am - kids - by makeitstop (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I forced myself into work with severe laryngitis. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, except I work at candy and ice cream store at a major tourist destination. For seven hours I had to communicate with unsympathetic adults and screaming, bratty kids by miming and using a dry erase board. FML

#17152929
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18395) - you deserved it (6082)

On 07/17/2011 at 7:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was flipping through a magazine and saw an ad that had the line "No corn, no wheat, no soy", all of which I'm severely allergic to. I got so excited at the prospect of having a food I could eat, I fell out of my chair. I then realized it was an ad for dog food. FML

#16995078
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30517) - you deserved it (4736)

On 07/06/2011 at 1:11am - health - by ChelseaRae (woman) - United States

Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After saying no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML

#16687170
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30501) - you deserved it (8868)

On 06/15/2011 at 11:53pm - misc - by randomjulz - United States

Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML

#16677911
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62686) - you deserved it (10960)

On 06/15/2011 at 2:00pm - love - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was complimented on my hat by two different people. I wasn't wearing a hat. FML

#16477433
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24880) - you deserved it (5673)

On 06/03/2011 at 12:21am - misc - by AndieApocalypse - United States

Today, while at the beach, my little sister thought it would be cute to feed a small seagull some of her food. Minutes later a flock of seagulls swarmed and attacked me and my sandwich. FML

#15683687
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19017) - you deserved it (2802)

On 04/07/2011 at 7:28pm - misc - by ihateseagulls (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom banned me from watching The Simpsons and Family Guy because apparently, they're part of "the Devil's plan to corrupt God's children". FML

#15370334
369 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39590) - you deserved it (8928)

On 03/18/2011 at 5:40pm - misc - by Jonathan (man) - Denmark (Midtjyllen)

Today, I was telling my dad about how I emasculated my guy friends because I can drive a stick shift while they can't. He said, "And you wonder why people think you're a lesbian." FML

#15317811
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28590) - you deserved it (11290)

On 03/15/2011 at 1:58am - misc - by Megara (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my new boyfriend was at my flat for the first time. He picked up something in the bathroom and said 'What the hell's this?'. I told him what it was for, and he said 'You girls and your weird female products. Who needs all this stuff?'. It wasn't a female thing. It was shampoo. FML

#15311271
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29101) - you deserved it (3284)

On 03/14/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by cleangirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Fife)

Today, I found a picture my husband had saved on the computer. It was of me, and he had named it "Fatter". FML

#15075025
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17785) - you deserved it (9802)

On 02/22/2011 at 3:38am - love - by just great... -

Today, I found out about my parent's divorce over Facebook. FML

#14851025
54 comments

Today, I saw a girl on the subway that I knew so I started waving frantically. She gave me a really weird expression and moved quickly away from me. Then I realised that I only knew her because I had stalked her Facebook once. FML

#14381626
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6377) - you deserved it (37110)

On 12/29/2010 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I went over to welcome this new couple to our subdivision with a bottle of wine and muffins. I told them I liked what they were doing with the place, then asked them when they had moved in. They replied, "Two years ago." FML

#14200955
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5909) - you deserved it (30592)

On 12/14/2010 at 10:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out the animal that was gnawing behind the kitchen wall all night was indeed a wild rat and his entire family. FML

#14120407
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18762) - you deserved it (2151)

On 12/07/2010 at 2:12pm - misc - by rattness (woman) - United States (Nebraska)



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Thursday 10 April 2014

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