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xNephilim

Offline (the 01/29/2014 at 10:22pm) | Search for a member

xNephilim

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 6 March 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2685
  • Number of comments : 1105
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

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xNephilim's page activity

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xNephilim's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of xNephilim's badges

xNephilim's favorite FMLs

Today, I was upset over a recent break up. It showed while I was at work, and I made a customer sad just by looking blue. She complained to my manager. I got written up for being so depressed that I got a customer depressed too. FML

#19993921
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21033) - you deserved it (2998)

On 07/31/2012 at 2:42am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to get the manager of a grocery store to explain to his employee how coupons work. The employee had refused to accept the coupons I was using, for fear that, "they will be deducted from my paycheck." FML

Today, I offered an elderly man my seat on the train. He thanked me by winking and offering me a seat on his lap. FML

#19387576
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21391) - you deserved it (2939)

On 04/01/2012 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I locked myself out of the house. After hours of ringing the doorbell and calling my roommate, I decided to break the window. When I finally got in, my roommate was waiting with a can of pepper spray. FML

Today, it was my first day being a full-time paramedic. I was shot in the arm. FML

#18850340
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36851) - you deserved it (2281)

On 01/19/2012 at 12:44am - work - by bad luck? - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML

#18757985
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9559) - you deserved it (21025)

On 01/09/2012 at 4:48pm - health - by owwwwwe - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, two American guys attacked me for not speaking their language. I'm from England, and they said I'm speaking my own language wrong. FML

#18525821
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36152) - you deserved it (6278)

On 12/16/2011 at 3:50am - misc - by Brit - Reserved

Today, I introduced my Chinese-born girlfriend to the rest of the family. My uncle immediately blurted out, "He's dating a communist." FML

#18242988
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32733) - you deserved it (4276)

On 11/14/2011 at 12:23am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I'm very ill. My throat and glands are so swollen that whenever I fall asleep, I relax too much and cut off my own air. The doctor said it's a viral infection and there's nothing they can give me, so I can choose between trying to kill myself by sleeping or staying awake for the next few days. FML

#18126766
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33035) - you deserved it (2230)

On 11/01/2011 at 2:29am - health - by DirtyCharmed - United States (Washington)

Today, while playing with a lighter, I jokingly told my boyfriend I would burn his mustache off. He responded by telling me he would burn off mine. FML

#17781306
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13005) - you deserved it (31868)

On 09/19/2011 at 4:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I excitedly showed my new roommate my pet fish. She then told me about how she purposely starved her last fish to see how long it would take before they started eating each other before starving to death. FML

#17597730
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28845) - you deserved it (2585)

On 08/27/2011 at 6:59pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I found out what it's like to get brain-freeze while recovering from a head injury. FML

#17540688
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23128) - you deserved it (4048)

On 08/21/2011 at 7:09pm - health - by The captain - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML

#17507228
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9745) - you deserved it (34259)

On 08/18/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was working in costume at a recreation of a Confederation-era town. I had to convince a visitor that it's not, in fact, an Amish village, and we do actually leave after five. FML

#17402357
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20050) - you deserved it (2441)

On 08/08/2011 at 12:07am - work - by a-mishunderstanding -

Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML

#17371338
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39083) - you deserved it (7257)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm - animals - by dukebluedevils13 - United States (Colorado)



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