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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 2267
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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xGolBLiiN's page activity

Visits<b>rebelty12</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 4:29pm<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 5:51pm<b>C7</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 10:59pm<b>entermyusername</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 8:08am<b>wandering_soul</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 10:50am<b>spt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 5:10am<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 9:56pm<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 4:18pm<b>Balanar</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 3:13am<b>ksadhera</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 11:27pm<b>ComradeNeal</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 9:06am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 10:54pm<b>struebig16</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 8:34pm<b>frecklefreak27</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 10:59pm<b>TheBelgiumeseKid</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 9:32am<b>46479whatup</b> - the 04/19/2013 at 11:25pm<b>krez</b> - the 09/30/2011 at 5:00am<b>sxe_beast</b> - the 09/03/2011 at 3:01am

Fucked!<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 11:51pm

xGolBLiiN's FML badges

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xGolBLiiN's favorite FMLs

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

by adieuvelib / 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my sister's wedding. Everything was going flawlessly. That is, until our visibly drunk mom started a punch-up over who got to cut the cake first. FML

by Anonymous / 10/07/2011 at 10:13pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was asked if my bellybutton was an 'innie' or an 'outtie.' My bellybutton has been hidden by fat for so long that I couldn't remember. FML

by knzknz / 10/06/2011 at 8:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2011 at 11:23am / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML

by danii / 10/04/2011 at 11:28pm / Reserved / Miscellaneous

Today, there was a guy following me, so to avoid him, I crouched down and basically waddled behind a wall to get past him. Sure enough, first thing I see when I get around the corner, while still waddling, was an unhappy midget couple staring right at me. FML

by Mike Polk / 10/03/2011 at 8:37am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

by katt_is_here / 10/02/2011 at 1:15am / United States (Colorado) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML

by Patricia / 10/01/2011 at 7:30pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I logged on to Facebook to find that my boyfriend's relationship status had changed to in a relationship with his ex. I asked him about it, and all he said was, "I guess I forgot to break up with you." FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2011 at 7:03pm / United States / Love

Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing on my stomach. The weight made me shit myself. My new nickname is "Muddbutt". FML

by FirstStringQB / 10/01/2011 at 6:45pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting ready to perform a speech in anthropology on the globalization of public transportation and how it brings cultures together. On the bus ride there, the girls behind me were discussing ways to hide their track marks after injecting. FML

by nearlythere / 09/30/2011 at 12:50am / Australia / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' because I didn't give her my last cookie. This happens all the time. FML

by danthecomplicate / 09/28/2011 at 10:28pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, my friends and I were having a conversation about which mythical creature would be the most unlikely to exist in the real world. They all collectively agreed that it would be a girl who is attracted to me. FML

by Unluckiest Guy of the group / 09/28/2011 at 3:26pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 11:56am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy