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wombatkid

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wombatkid

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  • Number of visits : 3526
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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wombatkid's page activity

Visits<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 06/08/2009 at 6:55pm

wombatkid's FML badges

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wombatkid's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my new Commanding Officer is my ex-wife's new boyfriend. We're going on a two year tour at sea in two weeks. The reason we got a divorce is that she couldn't handle being tied down with someone in the Navy. FML

#16882996
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46422) - you deserved it (3017)

On 06/27/2011 at 3:20pm - love - by Drunken Sailor - United States (New York)

Today, my wife got her second kidney stone in a month. I gave her some pills to help with the pain. An hour later she started hallucinating, pulled down her pants and tried to pee on our couch. FML

#14282049
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27397) - you deserved it (6002)

On 12/21/2010 at 4:25am - health - by qwaynick -

Today, the only one that became aroused while looking at me in my sexy Halloween costume was my dog. FML

#13650212
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19897) - you deserved it (11279)

On 10/30/2010 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Shelly - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

#13026235
416 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31045) - you deserved it (28069)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

#13005397
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37971) - you deserved it (9633)

On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)

Today, after a few months of my neighbors friend parking outside his house and honking until he came outside, I happened to be out doing lawn work. I politely screamed "STOP HONKING YOUR F***ING HORN!" To which they responded by moving in front of MY house and holding down their horn. I hate people. FML

#12930514
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32538) - you deserved it (15213)

On 09/06/2010 at 6:45am - misc - by Myself - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41674) - you deserved it (12553)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, while casually sitting at a bar, a drunk biker with no teeth leaned over and tried to kiss me. I'm a sailor in the Navy, but I think I screamed like a little girl. FML

#12617808
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30469) - you deserved it (4783)

On 08/19/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by dentallycorrect - United States (Illinois)

Today, airport security took away my 32$ eyelash curler, because it could be used as a weapon. I miss the 90s. FML

#12574406
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29895) - you deserved it (8493)

On 08/17/2010 at 12:59am - misc - by J.O.S (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I witnessed a series of nude old people cycling in the city. I was eating. FML

#12536404
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33320) - you deserved it (4777)

On 08/15/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by anonymous - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, my husband left for a two-week trip. Last night he gave the dog a treat of steak fat and gristle. My treat? I am on bed rest with my pregnancy and helpless to stop the rancid dog farts that are silent and smell like a burning septic tank exploded. FML

Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML

#9135717
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31729) - you deserved it (4587)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:51pm - animals - by Adam (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!". He then started singing the Super Mario Brother's theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML

#9086835
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26550) - you deserved it (5130)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after a horrible day at school, I went through the McDonald's drive thru for an ice cream cone. Everything went well until I had to pull a sharp turn. The ice cream is now no longer on the cone, but instead all over my hands, face, steering wheel, and the carpet. FML

#9074868
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8964) - you deserved it (20760)

On 03/14/2010 at 2:29pm - work - by teachingsucks (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dad asked me if I could convince my mother to get a Brazillian wax. If that's not bad enough, my mother heard and yelled from the other room, "I like my furball." FML

#9041294
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32483) - you deserved it (2333)

On 03/13/2010 at 5:35am - intimacy - by Grossed Out - Australia (Victoria)



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