wistfulorangeade

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wistfulorangeade

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5909
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About wistfulorangeade : Yum!

wistfulorangeade's page activity

Visits<b>Maloonatic</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 8:07am<b>Rascal_Rehab</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 11:25am<b>peeta0330</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 5:12pm<b>Tyrez</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 12:10am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 11:57pm<b>YeahItsMeTommy</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 4:31pm<b>Soparot</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 3:44pm<b>ThirteenThirteen</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 5:29pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 1:24am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 3:28pm<b>Saxicolous</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 5:19pm<b>zAstonish</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 10:21am<b>yukichan9</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 2:24am<b>quicksuper</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 10:20pm<b>zingline89</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 11:57pm<b>vaxc</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 5:53pm<b>CaseyOfAsgard</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 1:19am<b>danimal_crackerz</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 10:05pm

Fucked!<b>peeta0330</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 11:12pm

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wistfulorangeade's favorite FMLs

Today, my kitten made it snow inside my house using a 12-pack of toilet paper. FML

by Anonymous / 02/06/2013 at 1:00pm / United States (West Virginia) / Animals

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

by DogLover / 02/06/2013 at 8:59am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML

by Fireguy92 / 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

by Kitten_Love / 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm / Animals

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

by great / 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm / Puerto Rico / Intimacy

Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

by awkwardturtle / 01/25/2013 at 12:31am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was having sex, he stopped, looked at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?" FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

by Drewbie / 01/13/2013 at 3:53am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2013 at 7:20am / Slovakia / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML

by troll of a gran / 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2012 at 6:16am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML

by well, i am now / 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

by anonymaiacciu / 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm / France / Intimacy

Today, my bra clasp broke in the middle of a job interview. I got the job on the spot. I'm scared to report into work. FML

by Anonymous / 12/19/2012 at 5:06pm / United States / Work