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wistfulorangeade

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wistfulorangeade

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3781
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About wistfulorangeade : Yum!

wistfulorangeade's page activity

Visits<b>derp_taco</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 11:42pm<b>senortaco</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 11:49pm<b>mutiplyyou</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 2:30pm<b>xSalashawty</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 4:12pm<b>evan4guitar</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 4:54pm<b>gardenlake</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 5:43pm<b>dyingforpussy</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 12:31pm<b>justthatpotato</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 2:40am<b>NotAUser</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 9:44pm<b>mrs_bieber623</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 4:49pm<b>F_Ur_Lives</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 11:08am<b>hoondigi</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 8:34pm<b>deathhill3</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 5:48pm<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 12:16pm<b>sydneypayge</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 2:59am<b>JessicaPf</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 3:12pm<b>mickinly_lanae</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 10:59pm<b>kitkat2701</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 1:25pm

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wistfulorangeade's favorite FMLs

Today, my kitten made it snow inside my house using a 12-pack of toilet paper. FML

#20495653
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24526) - you deserved it (4802)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

#20495511
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30322) - you deserved it (4345)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML

#20488428
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38381) - you deserved it (2161)

On 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm - work - by Fireguy92 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45518) - you deserved it (5937) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

#20478275
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35000) - you deserved it (5938)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

#20477493
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25709) - you deserved it (12355)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by awkwardturtle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was having sex, he stopped, looked at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?" FML

#20458937
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44345) - you deserved it (9220)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

#20456674
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46452) - you deserved it (7937)

On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

#20451560
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31535) - you deserved it (8909)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia

Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML

#20447919
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30634) - you deserved it (4331)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by troll of a gran - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML

#20433657
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30466) - you deserved it (5112)

On 12/31/2012 at 6:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML

#20426492
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51394) - you deserved it (7014)

On 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by well, i am now (woman) - United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML

#20423470
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39924) - you deserved it (4025)

On 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

#20412240
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41794) - you deserved it (8173)

On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France

Today, my bra clasp broke in the middle of a job interview. I got the job on the spot. I'm scared to report into work. FML

#20407793
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29888) - you deserved it (3788)

On 12/19/2012 at 5:06pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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