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wirelimbs

Offline (the 01/27/2014 at 1:14pm) | Search for a member

wirelimbs

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 September 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 280
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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wirelimbs's page activity

Visits<b>seeoseek</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 11:49am<b>bossyass</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 12:29pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 12:56pm<b>Farmer_Ted</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 6:46pm<b>Beyto7000</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 5:04pm<b>ilovesarcasm</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 6:55pm<b>neeni88</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 7:37am<b>Sockturtle</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 8:16am<b>perdix</b> - the 04/08/2013 at 9:27am<b>Grand_Cookie</b> - the 04/08/2013 at 9:01am

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wirelimbs's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

#21033383
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55698) - you deserved it (8963)

On 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Goodyear (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I ran for the first time in ages when I saw my bus coming. My loose shoe went flying into a shop doorway, and I tripped into the gutter. FML

#21009861
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32725) - you deserved it (6001)

On 12/29/2013 at 10:52pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I discovered the real reason my husband was distraught last week and has been acting moodily ever since. An attractive girl he was secretly having sex chats with online confessed to him that "she" was actually a guy. FML

#21007435
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44113) - you deserved it (4035)

On 12/27/2013 at 4:49pm - love - by -__- (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML

#21007355
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44846) - you deserved it (5108)

On 12/27/2013 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Jamaica (Saint Andrew)

Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML

#20994581
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43372) - you deserved it (6303)

On 12/16/2013 at 11:44am - misc - by abc123 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML

#20971381
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44747) - you deserved it (4722)

On 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after getting a root canal, I told my mother how boring it was just sitting there with my mouth open for ages while the dentist did his work. She then told me how she had to do the same kind of thing on her anniversary night with my father. FML

#20968136
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43450) - you deserved it (4362)

On 11/23/2013 at 4:57pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

#20967834
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59419) - you deserved it (4294)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML

#20965644
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55772) - you deserved it (12461)

On 11/21/2013 at 11:10am - misc - by smooth (man) - United States

Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work what a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML

#20944786
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61792) - you deserved it (4029)

On 11/04/2013 at 12:45am - intimacy - by TheTruthofWomen (woman) - United States

Today, my car keys are in my house and my house keys are in my car, and I'm in neither. FML

#20943997
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46914) - you deserved it (8450)

On 11/03/2013 at 3:18pm - misc - by Argh (man) - France (Poitou-Charentes)

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85319) - you deserved it (6103)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26943) - you deserved it (38687)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I passed my math test with flying colors. My dad thought I had cheated, so he emailed the school and told them that I had. They lowered my grade. FML

#20912578
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57354) - you deserved it (3285)

On 10/08/2013 at 3:17pm - misc - by mathgenius - Norway (Hordaland)



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  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

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