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wildmonkey

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wildmonkey

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 359
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About wildmonkey : Hello.

wildmonkey's page activity

Visits<b>T_Rock1771</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 4:04pm<b>AmyPond17</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 10:51pm<b>samm12099</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 1:16am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 11:49am<b>nicksta150</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 10:53pm<b>askcat</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 7:17pm<b>Flamevoid</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 5:33pm<b>Xeebar</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 12:10pm<b>YoloXboxSwag</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 10:01pm<b>Cheesus_Crust</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 2:37pm<b>allie1121</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 10:04am<b>stupidsyrup</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 4:28am<b>blazingshot147</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 11:12pm<b>Wonder_Woman257</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 11:08pm<b>speakersboom</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 7:33pm<b>PerezAlmighty</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 11:24am<b>prosectionat</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 3:56am<b>Quack_69_</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 2:17am

wildmonkey's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of wildmonkey's badges

wildmonkey's favorite FMLs

Today, I left my dog in the car while I quickly ran into a store. I came out to a woman smashing at my window, screaming that it was too hot in the car for the dog and saying I was being inhumane. The car was still running and the air conditioning was on. FML

#20721457
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57324) - you deserved it (8221)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:47pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was making tea when I smelled something burning. My very fluffy cat had put his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur. Now I have a semi-hairless cat and a very smelly apartment. FML

#20647478
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40971) - you deserved it (6847)

On 05/07/2013 at 10:18am - animals - by AussieG75 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

#20536627
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37121) - you deserved it (2849)

On 03/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21793) - you deserved it (44842)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I realized that the "eyelash curling brush" that my best friend found in my old bathroom drawer was actually a stick used for cleaning food out of my sister's braces. I used that thing for years. FML

#20519962
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23421) - you deserved it (12570)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:30am - misc - by curly_eyelashes - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found an old toy that I gave to my daughter several years ago. It was still unopened, and long forgotten, so I decided to re-gift it to one of my friend's children. My daughter immediately remembered her "favorite" toy and started crying inconsolably. FML

#20517777
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28476) - you deserved it (10385)

On 02/22/2013 at 5:32pm - kids - by Great. (woman) - Brazil (Minas Gerais)

Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML

#20517185
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24486) - you deserved it (7238)

On 02/22/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39034) - you deserved it (10310)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, the people living below me have been blasting their music so loudly that I can hear every word as clear as day. The people next door think it's my music and feel the need to bang on the wall and blast their music just as loudly in revenge. I have two very important exams tomorrow. FML

#20515010
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33795) - you deserved it (2910)

On 02/20/2013 at 3:40pm - misc - by Ughh! - France

Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

#20513159
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42836) - you deserved it (9365)

On 02/19/2013 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I went in to get my first tattoo. I'd put a lot of thought into it and was really excited when the day came. Long story short, the Celtic knot I'd gotten turned out to have an alternate meaning of "female sex slave." The faces my very Irish family made were beyond words. FML

#20511821
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17142) - you deserved it (44144)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:50am - intimacy - by UnluckyInk (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML

#20511774
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35482) - you deserved it (3999)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to take a jog in an area we never been before. We then got lost. She actually thought that the tattoo on her arm of an open compass with north, east, south, and west would help us. FML

#20510517
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30940) - you deserved it (5634)

On 02/17/2013 at 9:27am - misc - by omgstuupidd - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML

#20505342
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40432) - you deserved it (4535)

On 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)



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