Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

wildmonkey

Search for a member

wildmonkey

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 430
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About wildmonkey : Hello.

wildmonkey's page activity

Visits<b>jwp0211</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 2:04pm<b>T_Rock1771</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 4:04pm<b>AmyPond17</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 10:51pm<b>samm12099</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 1:16am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 11:49am<b>nicksta150</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 10:53pm<b>askcat</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 7:17pm<b>Flamevoid</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 5:33pm<b>Xeebar</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 12:10pm<b>YoloXboxSwag</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 10:01pm<b>Cheesus_Crust</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 2:37pm<b>allie1121</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 10:04am<b>stupidsyrup</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 4:28am<b>blazingshot147</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 11:12pm<b>Wonder_Woman257</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 11:08pm<b>speakersboom</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 7:33pm<b>PerezAlmighty</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 11:24am<b>prosectionat</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 3:56am

wildmonkey's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of wildmonkey's badges

wildmonkey's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

#21061692
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52414) - you deserved it (7833)

On 02/15/2014 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while in the prison I work at, I came down with severe digestion issues. Master control probably laughed as they watched me wait at the security gates in a cold sweat, squeezing my ass-cheeks together like an inmate smuggling contraband. FML

#21047394
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38881) - you deserved it (3975)

On 02/01/2014 at 5:42pm - work - by TwistedCherub1 (woman) - United States

Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML

#20988758
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41743) - you deserved it (6886)

On 12/11/2013 at 8:14am - misc - by pootie (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found a credit card at my job. As store policy goes, we have to cut up lost cards immediately after finding them to protect the cardholders. As I grab the scissors and cut, my manager calls out, "Has anyone seen my credit card?" FML

#20988740
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43637) - you deserved it (10177)

On 12/11/2013 at 7:33am - work - by mariology (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was searched and questioned at the airport for having an apple. FML

#20971832
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37938) - you deserved it (4262)

On 11/26/2013 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML

#20960650
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42801) - you deserved it (3911)

On 11/17/2013 at 8:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got a concussion. It was when an entire shelf of bicycle helmets tumbled onto my skull. FML

#20954433
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37231) - you deserved it (2732)

On 11/11/2013 at 9:14pm - health - by myheadhurts (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43630) - you deserved it (3271)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML

#20887758
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37651) - you deserved it (2848)

On 09/19/2013 at 1:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a lady stormed into the pharmacy I work at and chewed me out because the medicine I sold her the day before gave her horrible diarrhea as a "side effect". I checked, and it was the medicine she asked for - laxatives. FML

#20883379
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44603) - you deserved it (2318)

On 09/16/2013 at 1:35am - health - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML

#20876988
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49478) - you deserved it (3945)

On 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm - animals - by ugh Buck! (woman) - United States

Today, I noticed that my car's passenger-side door has cobwebs all over it. FML

#20876882
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41636) - you deserved it (6514)

On 09/11/2013 at 10:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

#20872880
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49481) - you deserved it (3166)

On 09/08/2013 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, I was at a "bring your family to work" event. I noticed my coworker brought his kids but not his wife, so I asked, "No wife today?" Everyone glared at me and he pointedly replied that she's married to someone else now. I had no idea. Now everyone thinks I'm an insensitive prick. FML

#20844855
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41172) - you deserved it (8127)

On 08/19/2013 at 3:04pm - work - by insensitive prick (man) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: