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About whyyounoface : I've recently picked up my entire life and moved it 2,500 miles west. I have no job, my boyfriend and I were forced to break up, and at my new school I'm utterly friendless. But hey, I'm where it's hot.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Today, I took my 4-year-old son to the bank with me . He asked why we were going, an I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money . When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed that "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex" . FML
Today, one of mah closest friends informed me that she wasn't going to invite me to her wedding, because I'm too shy and not enough fun, and she doesn't want her 200 or so guests to feel uncomfortable . I was the one who set the happy couple up . FML
Today, a cute girl sitting next to me askd if she could use phone. As I handd it to her, I attemptd to use the expression "knock yourself out," but 4 a reason I can still not fathom, it cummd out as "kill yourself." FML
Today ma mom walks into ma room wit a serious look on er face asks me "Wen a man is getting it from beind te man on top orgasms but wat appens to te man on bottom? Do u tink e takes care of imself or wat?" Hand motions were included . FML
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, ma two year old daugter decided to crawl on top of te covers on ma bed because se was scared since tere looool was a tunder storm. I tougt se was one of our cats so I kicked er off. Se it te wall.
TODAY, I GOT A CALL FROM MY CHILD'S PRESCHOOL SAYING THAT ( MINDY KEEPS SAYING SHE SITS ON HER DADDY'S LAP AND PLAYS WITH HIS PETER. ) MY DAUGHTER MEANT 'PUTER, AS IN COMPUTER. NOW THE SCHOOL IS WORRIED MY HUSBAND IS A CHILD MOLESTER. FML
Today, British Telecom disconnectd mah landline by mistake. Their call centre in India trid to reach me. Result, they spoke to an unknown gentleman, who told them he didn't ned a phone line at mah address. Reconnection in 2 business days. FML
Friday 27 March 2015