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whoredom

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whoredom
  • Town/Country : Sin City, usa
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 26 July 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 108
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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whoredom's favorite FMLs

Today, I started my research project on horror stories and people's fascination with them. I did some research and wound up reading H.P. Lovecraft. On the upside, I can now pee more easily. On the downside, it's likely to be in my pants. FML

#19340135
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13214) - you deserved it (3481)

On 03/24/2012 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

#19222956
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23684) - you deserved it (7492)

On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States

Today, I found out that my wife purposely eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to get out of kissing me. I'm deathly allergic to peanuts. FML

#18898417
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33427) - you deserved it (2890)

On 01/24/2012 at 12:31pm - love - by Allergic (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML

#18886717
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7511) - you deserved it (21614)

On 01/23/2012 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

#18844188
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27254) - you deserved it (4506)

On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

#18716043
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30099) - you deserved it (8628)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML

#18519378
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19358) - you deserved it (4886)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:30pm - misc - by Grubendol - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my parents told me that they've been having a contest to see who could punish me the most this week. So far, my mom is in the lead by kicking me out of the car near railroad tracks, and making me walk the 4 miles home in the freezing rain. FML

#18145406
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36934) - you deserved it (2711)

On 11/03/2011 at 5:18am - misc - by Grounded (woman) - United States

Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML

#17975450
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29101) - you deserved it (3626)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:20pm - love - by Eet- (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, my girlfriend changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' because I didn't give her my last cookie. This happens all the time. FML

#17859546
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27577) - you deserved it (10497)

On 09/28/2011 at 10:28pm - love - by danthecomplicate - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML

#17390536
445 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39350) - you deserved it (5803)

On 08/06/2011 at 8:27pm - love - by FML! - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36936) - you deserved it (10875)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML

#17215427
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34927) - you deserved it (9265)

On 07/22/2011 at 9:38am - intimacy - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

Today, while skiing on Mammoth Mountain, a man dressed in an Easter Bunny costume snowboarded into me and sent me flying. Not only did he hurt my wrist, he also threw an Easter egg at me, yelled "Happy Easter", and snowboarded away. FML

#15911784
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21874) - you deserved it (3591)

On 04/24/2011 at 7:49pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

#14738365
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42048) - you deserved it (5198)

On 01/27/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Scaredwitless (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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