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whoredom
  • Town/Country : Sin City, White America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 27 July 1995 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 35
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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whoredom's favorite FMLs

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28574) - you deserved it (94452)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

#20472773
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25057) - you deserved it (1734)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:14am - work - by Job Seeking (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, was my birthday. Today was also the day that my mom's cat died four years ago. She was too busy crying and looking at old photos of her beloved cat to even wish me a happy birthday. FML

#20444416
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19629) - you deserved it (1270)

On 01/06/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Birthday girl (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML

#20438439
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43009) - you deserved it (3349)

On 01/02/2013 at 10:49am - work - by habassistant - United States (Ohio)

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

#20417936
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11358) - you deserved it (24376)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

#20194616
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20393) - you deserved it (3602)

On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20438) - you deserved it (1707)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, after a lot of begging, I finally convinced my husband to shave all of his pubes off. Now I can't even look at it without laughing, and he's mad at me for making him do it. FML

#19552078
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4183) - you deserved it (33315)

On 04/30/2012 at 4:25am - intimacy - by kdehshaden (woman) - United States

Today, I started my research project on horror stories and people's fascination with them. I did some research and wound up reading H.P. Lovecraft. On the upside, I can now pee more easily. On the downside, it's likely to be in my pants. FML

#19340135
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10667) - you deserved it (2635)

On 03/24/2012 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML

#18886717
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7365) - you deserved it (21043)

On 01/23/2012 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

#18716043
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26886) - you deserved it (6970)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML

#18519378
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17257) - you deserved it (3862)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:30pm - misc - by Grubendol - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my parents told me that they've been having a contest to see who could punish me the most this week. So far, my mom is in the lead by kicking me out of the car near railroad tracks, and making me walk the 4 miles home in the freezing rain. FML

#18145406
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34108) - you deserved it (2552)

On 11/03/2011 at 5:18am - misc - by Grounded (woman) - United States

Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML

#17975450
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24443) - you deserved it (2761)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:20pm - love - by Eet- (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, while skiing on Mammoth Mountain, a man dressed in an Easter Bunny costume snowboarded into me and sent me flying. Not only did he hurt my wrist, he also threw an Easter egg at me, yelled "Happy Easter", and snowboarded away. FML

#15911784
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18628) - you deserved it (2900)

On 04/24/2011 at 7:49pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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Monday 20 May 2013

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