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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 26 July 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1597
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About whoredom : Instagram: @jadedaa
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whoredom's favorite FMLs

Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38869) - you deserved it (4254)

On 10/26/2014 at 6:46pm - love - by mellielynnemily - United States

Today, a nurse asked my relationship status. I answered, "Married". She then asked if there was any possibility of me being pregnant. I hardly contained my snort, before responding, "No, you have to have sex for that." I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that it's true or her laughter. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43795) - you deserved it (6285)

On 10/10/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by bluevix (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with blood-red water, motionless and staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming and crying, and he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40176) - you deserved it (3990)

On 09/19/2014 at 1:58pm - misc - by TuT (woman) - France

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46719) - you deserved it (5645)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45547) - you deserved it (9435)

On 10/31/2013 at 2:27pm - kids - by anna (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (24795) - you deserved it (39171)

On 09/03/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by ugh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53428) - you deserved it (11636)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML


I agree, your life sucks (107656) - you deserved it (12702)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39749) - you deserved it (5354)

On 04/23/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35316) - you deserved it (122049)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing for a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood." FML


I agree, your life sucks (73962) - you deserved it (11903)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - intimacy - by saywhat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45842) - you deserved it (16939)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40093) - you deserved it (11663)

On 02/28/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by useless pos (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML


I agree, your life sucks (33399) - you deserved it (2861)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:14am - work - by Job Seeking (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, was my birthday. Today was also the day that my mom's cat died four years ago. She was too busy crying and looking at old photos of her beloved cat to even wish me a happy birthday. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28383) - you deserved it (2230)

On 01/06/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Birthday girl (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

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