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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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whitters1251's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/26/2012 at 6:42am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/25/2012 at 6:54am / United States (California) / Kids
by arw / 07/25/2012 at 2:10am / United States / Miscellaneous
by nick / 07/23/2012 at 8:52pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I went to my local coffee shop. I soon witnessed the girl making my drink apparently dislodge a wedgie from her ass-crack and then sneeze into her hands. When I confronted her, she loudly accused me of "visually molesting" her. FML
by bitchimgay / 07/22/2012 at 12:48pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
by Zora / 07/15/2012 at 7:13pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Kids
Today, I was running late for an important job interview because I couldn't find my keys. I place the keys on my kitchen counter every day to prevent exactly this type of situation. After few minutes and missing my interview, I finally found my keys, in my hand. FML
by Anonymous / 07/12/2012 at 12:04pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by hot coffee / 07/12/2012 at 11:17am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML
by FauteuilEver Alone / 07/05/2012 at 4:11am / France / Miscellaneous
Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML
by ali / 07/03/2012 at 7:51am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by babyeaternomnom / 06/30/2012 at 12:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML
by bob / 06/29/2012 at 4:47am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by lala8940 / 06/28/2012 at 1:20am / United States / Animals
Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML
by a stupid jackass / 06/21/2012 at 9:28pm / United States (New York) / Love
- Today, while making love, my girlfriend accidentally kicked me in the face when changing positions.… Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex in his car. He got out of the car and moved to the… Today, in the middle of having sex, my boyfriend of two years got a call. After taking the call, he…