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whitters1251

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whitters1251
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 176
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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whitters1251's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24603) - you deserved it (11925)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was with my grandma in my new car. She suddenly says, "I've got to pee bad." Without giving me enough time to find a gas station, she blurts out, "Never mind, I just did." FML

#19982859
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22780) - you deserved it (1489)

On 07/25/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by arw - United States

Today, was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML

#19980298
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22861) - you deserved it (9932)

On 07/23/2012 at 8:52pm - kids - by nick (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my local coffee shop. I soon witnessed the girl making my drink apparently dislodge a wedgie from her ass-crack and then sneeze into her hands. When I confronted her, she loudly accused me of "visually molesting" her. FML

#19974801
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18914) - you deserved it (1363)

On 07/22/2012 at 12:48pm - misc - by bitchimgay (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML

#19942412
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33134) - you deserved it (3042)

On 07/15/2012 at 7:13pm - kids - by Zora (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I was running late for an important job interview because I couldn't find my keys. I place the keys on my kitchen counter every day to prevent exactly this type of situation. After few minutes and missing my interview, I finally found my keys, in my hand. FML

#19927965
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8599) - you deserved it (25767)

On 07/12/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I discovered I'd left my coffee on top of my car when it fell through the sun roof whilst I was driving, showering me. FML

#19927767
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11596) - you deserved it (21981)

On 07/12/2012 at 11:17am - misc - by hot coffee - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML

#19884925
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6980) - you deserved it (36952)

On 07/03/2012 at 7:51am - misc - by ali (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I caught my elderly neighbour skinny-dipping in my pool. FML

#19871272
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17437) - you deserved it (1308)

On 06/30/2012 at 12:22pm - misc - by babyeaternomnom (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML

#19870376
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27525) - you deserved it (4704)

On 06/30/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML

#19864989
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11068) - you deserved it (18906)

On 06/29/2012 at 4:47am - intimacy - by bob (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dog was licking the dishes in the dishwasher when his collar got stuck on it. Then he got scared of the dishwasher rack following him and ran away really fast. Now I have no dishes. FML

Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML

#19826088
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5678) - you deserved it (30025)

On 06/21/2012 at 9:28pm - love - by a stupid jackass (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML

#19787973
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6093) - you deserved it (36946)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:59pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Croydon)



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