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whitters1251

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whitters1251
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  • Number of visits : 24
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Today, after getting into an argument with my dad, he told me that I would make a great ex wife one day. FML

#20467602
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23042) - you deserved it (5005)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:51am - love - by Claire - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

#20460771
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34279) - you deserved it (5410)

On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

#20460540
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34679) - you deserved it (3776)

On 01/15/2013 at 9:41am - kids - by Nightmare (woman) -

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

#20460283
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16091) - you deserved it (25759)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was at a party with my crush. The collar on his shirt was sticking up so I fixed it for him. He gave me a hug and said, "Aww you're so good to me. You're like my mother. You can be my college mother." I got mother-zoned. FML

#20458655
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39760) - you deserved it (4976)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:56am - love - by shiney100893 (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I walked into the bathroom only to see my boyfriend sitting on the floor eating ice cream, crying. I'd say I was shocked, but this isn't the first time it's happened. FML

#20458512
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26503) - you deserved it (4691)

On 01/14/2013 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Montana)

Today, I decided to go to a UV-light party dressed all in white. Before leaving, my little brother dumped a glass of tomato juice over my head saying, "Now you look just like a used tampon!" FML

#20456974
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32016) - you deserved it (3559)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by Mary - Czech Republic

Today, I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't have a hair tie, so I used a thong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daughter. I threw on my clothes, drove to pick her up, went to the store, and went for ice cream... thong still in my hair. FML

#20438564
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9967) - you deserved it (30465)

On 01/02/2013 at 12:33pm - health - by Embarrassed - United States

Today, I woke up with an engagement ring on my left hand. The same one I refused last month. My boyfriend apparently waited for me to be drunk to propose again last night, and has already posted the pics on Facebook. FML

#20427625
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30797) - you deserved it (10189)

On 12/28/2012 at 10:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having Christmas dinner while his mom was away. I was lying alone on his bed while he did the dishes, when the bedroom door dramatically swung open and his mom glared at me from the doorway. I had to leave when she screamed "FORNICATION IS A SIN!" FML

#20420364
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27718) - you deserved it (3178)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:41am - love - by un_christmas - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, my friend put my phone number on Craigslist. I still can't find the ad, but obviously everyone else can because I still haven't stopped receiving naked pictures. FML

#20419133
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27324) - you deserved it (2576)

On 12/24/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by Chanman1924 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

#20418295
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37409) - you deserved it (6430)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML

#20414298
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37199) - you deserved it (4192)

On 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by orgasmicriding (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML

#20406767
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23886) - you deserved it (2652)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:16am - health - by Igor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML

#20201910
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20544) - you deserved it (4914)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:32pm - kids - by Renzy (woman) -



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