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whereismyb4con

Offline (the 12/16/2014 at 8:33pm) | Search for a member

whereismyb4con

8Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 917
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About whereismyb4con : Lover of video games, food, dinosaurs, animals, tv, naps, and whining

Slayer of bacon, lover of books, connoisseur of racist jokes

whereismyb4con's page activity

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whereismyb4con's favorite FMLs

Today, I awoke to my husband donning a gorilla mask in the middle of the night. My kids have been staying in a tent out back for the past few nights, and have complained of a "monster" scaring them. I told them that it was their imagination. My husband says he gets a kick out of it. FML

#3837360
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44557) - you deserved it (6325)

On 07/17/2009 at 6:02pm - kids - by Divorcemenow (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML

#3120236
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50472) - you deserved it (4931)

On 06/22/2009 at 2:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend and I took a late night drive, and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything I replied "guess". He came out and gave me a box of tampons. Apparently I've been bitchy. FML

#3112345
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15534) - you deserved it (64768)

On 06/22/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by tamp (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, was my senior prom. I've had a crush on my date for months, but after many attempts at grinding with him and sexy seduction, he rejected me saying he was a good Catholic boy. I later found out that not only is he in touch with his religion, but intimately in touch with other boys. FML

#2871893
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44479) - you deserved it (6320)

On 06/13/2009 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by failatboys (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (431038) - you deserved it (59895)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was laying in bed naked and blindfolded. I told my boyfriend he could do anything he wanted to me. About 30 minutes later I get out of bed and find him in the computer room play World of Warcraft. His friends needed him. FML

#1524498
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89658) - you deserved it (14025)

On 05/01/2009 at 1:40pm - intimacy - by chelle (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was working as a manager of the local movie theater. This six year old came in with no parents or anyone else. When I asked him where his parents were he looked at me and said, "Shut up white boy, I don't have to listen to your shit." I just got told by a six year old. FML

#958764
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60964) - you deserved it (6898)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:44pm - work - by brad3720 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

#896114
412 comments

I agree, your life sucks (223563) - you deserved it (27746)

On 04/10/2009 at 1:11am - animals - by lanbon182 - United States (California)

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

#869023
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16084) - you deserved it (90403)

On 04/08/2009 at 10:48am - work - by StevieMe (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we got our yearbooks for school. I opened to my profile to see that they misspelled my first name which is James. They wrote Lames. FML

#598465
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (147742) - you deserved it (11610)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:32pm - misc - by rusty2020 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (244349) - you deserved it (32233)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

#473847
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (128102) - you deserved it (13061)

On 03/19/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by ufhdafuhds (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)



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