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whereismyb4con

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whereismyb4con
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 599
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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whereismyb4con's FML badges

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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whereismyb4con's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I took a late night drive, and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything I replied "guess". He came out and gave me a box of tampons. Apparently I've been bitchy. FML

#3112345
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14819) - you deserved it (63263)

On 06/22/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by tamp (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, was my senior prom. I've had a crush on my date for months, but after many attempts at grinding with him and sexy seduction, he rejected me saying he was a good Catholic boy. I later found out that not only is he in touch with his religion, but intimately in touch with other boys. FML

#2871893
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41587) - you deserved it (5876)

On 06/13/2009 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by failatboys (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (397893) - you deserved it (52929)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was laying in bed naked and blindfolded. I told my boyfriend he could do anything he wanted to me. About 30 minutes later I get out of bed and find him in the computer room play World of Warcraft. His friends needed him. FML

#1524498
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82496) - you deserved it (12392)

On 05/01/2009 at 1:40pm - intimacy - by chelle (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was working as a manager of the local movie theater. This six year old came in with no parents or anyone else. When I asked him where his parents were he looked at me and said, "Shut up white boy, I don't have to listen to your shit." I just got told by a six year old. FML

#958764
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56421) - you deserved it (6414)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:44pm - work - by brad3720 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

#896114
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (201348) - you deserved it (19792)

On 04/10/2009 at 1:11am - animals - by lanbon182 - United States (California)

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

#869023
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14090) - you deserved it (84363)

On 04/08/2009 at 10:48am - work - by StevieMe (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we got our yearbooks for school. I opened to my profile to see that they misspelled my first name which is James. They wrote Lames. FML

#598465
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (140571) - you deserved it (10863)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:32pm - misc - by rusty2020 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
515 comments

I agree, your life sucks (227258) - you deserved it (29241)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

#473847
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (116411) - you deserved it (11403)

On 03/19/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by ufhdafuhds (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, our school had tryouts for chorus. Everybody sang a snippet of the song together until the teacher stopped us, saying it sounded awful. He singled me out and told me to sing alone. After I sang the part, he said, "Son, your gift to God will be silence." FML

#420059
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63793) - you deserved it (6727)

On 03/17/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Sebastian (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, our school had tryouts for chorus. Everybody sang a snippet of the song together until the teacher stopped us, saying it sounded awful. He singled me out and told me to sing alone. After I sang the part, he said, "Son, your gift to God will be silence." FML

#420059
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63793) - you deserved it (6727)

On 03/17/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Sebastian (man) - United States (Ohio)



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