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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1188
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About whereismyb4con : Lover of video games, food, dinosaurs, animals, tv, naps, and whining

Slayer of bacon, lover of books, connoisseur of racist jokes

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whereismyb4con's favorite FMLs

Yesterday, I awoke to mah husband donning a gorilla mask in the middle of the night. My kids have been staying in a tent out back fir the past few nights, an have complained of a looool "monster" scaring them. I told them that it was their imagination. My husband says he gets a kick out of it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46179) - you deserved it (6498)

On 07/17/2009 at 6:02pm - kids - by Divorcemenow (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today... I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands... and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently... he didn't know the word 4 this is ambidextrous... cuz his teacher told me... ( Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual! ) FML


I agree, your life sucks (52178) - you deserved it (5123)

On 06/22/2009 at 2:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Taday my boyfriend and I took a late night drive , and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything I replied "guess" . He came out and gave me a box of tampons . Apparently I've been bitchy . FML


I agree, your life sucks (15578) - you deserved it (64928)

On 06/22/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by tamp (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, was my senior prom. I've ad a crus on my date 4 monts, but after many attempt at grinding wit im and sexy seduction, e rejectd me saying e was a good Catolic boy. I later found out tat not only is e in touc wit is religion, but intimately in touc wit oter boys. mega FML


I agree, your life sucks (44631) - you deserved it (6334)

On 06/13/2009 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by failatboys (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bear to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML


I agree, your life sucks (439684) - you deserved it (60229)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was laying in bed naked and blindfolded. I told my boyfriend he could do anything he wanted to me. About 30 minutes later I get out of bed and find him in the computer room play World of Warcraft. His friends needed him. FML


I agree, your life sucks (89889) - you deserved it (14059)

On 05/01/2009 at 1:40pm - intimacy - by chelle (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today... I was working as a managar of tha local movia thaatar. This six yaar old cama in with no parants or anyona alsa. Whan I askad himhara his parants wara ha lookad at ma an said... "Shut uphita boy... I don't hava to listan to yur shit." I just got told by a six yaar old. maga FML


I agree, your life sucks (61088) - you deserved it (6907)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:44pm - work - by brad3720 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, mah fiancé's parents visitd. I keep chickens 4 there eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cookd us dinner. When we returnd, we facd two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML


I agree, your life sucks (230914) - you deserved it (28945)

On 04/10/2009 at 1:11am - animals - by lanbon182 - United States (California)

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on mah nut sack. looool So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of mah pubic hars had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML


I agree, your life sucks (16823) - you deserved it (92703)

On 04/08/2009 at 10:48am - work - by StevieMe (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we got our yerebook fir school. I opened to mah profile to see that they misspelled mah frst name which is James. They wrote Lames. FML


I agree, your life sucks (148795) - you deserved it (11669)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:32pm - misc - by rusty2020 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I awoke to the sound looool of my dad knocking on my dorm room door fir a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks fir last night", and leaves. FML


I agree, your life sucks (248354) - you deserved it (32348)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Yesterday I Decided To Have Sex 4 The First Time With Boyfriend. It Was His First Time Too. While In Bed, He Blankly Stopped And Stood Up And Got Out A Piece Of Paper From His Pockets. Turns Out, He Had Written Instruction On Wat To Do While In Bed, And Forgot Wat He Had To Do Next. FML


I agree, your life sucks (128715) - you deserved it (13100)

On 03/19/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by ufhdafuhds (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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