Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

whereismyb4con

Offline (yesterday at 3:24am) | Search for a member

whereismyb4con

27Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1394
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About whereismyb4con : Lover of video games, food, dinosaurs, animals, tv, naps, and whining

Slayer of bacon, lover of books, connoisseur of racist jokes

whereismyb4con's page activity

Visits<b>charrbee90</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 1:45pm<b>uhmhaicats</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 11:46am<b>LeFrancaisRaleur</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 10:50am<b>Dougie_Bee</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 5:52pm<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 12:19pm<b>SlimDanny</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 10:41am<b>VibratingMeerkat</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 7:01am<b>dragonvale19</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 6:33pm<b>Eating_Tin</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 7:17am<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 3:03am<b>KnockNxtTime</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 11:49am<b>teresa96706</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 1:11am<b>SweetIam</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 1:12am<b>melisssa87</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 6:31pm<b>AngelOf_Darkness</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 3:23pm<b>FuckFace10</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 5:58pm<b>fuckinqbullshit</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 1:49pm<b>CandyPewPewPew</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 3:46pm

Fucked!<b>melisssa87</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 12:31am<b>AngelOf_Darkness</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 9:22pm<b>karcummings</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 9:47pm<b>kikoma</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 9:11am<b>teresa96706</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 9:39pm<b>swaggyswagswag</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 4:27am<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 3:46am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 2:36am<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 3:34am<b>molly471</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 12:32am<b>charrbee90</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 1:53pm<b>lolonewsom</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 5:53am<b>Pandacupcakelove</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 10:03pm<b>origamidragon</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 3:49am<b>emmatheamazingx</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 6:03am<b>Miss_Klutzie</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 11:24pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 12:14am<b>UhHuhHoney</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 2:32am

whereismyb4con's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of whereismyb4con's badges

whereismyb4con's favorite FMLs

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

#13157318
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46252) - you deserved it (9979)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, my boyfriend of three months texted me saying he loves me. I excitedly started texting back, "I love you too." Before I even got done, he messaged again saying, "Can you send a pic of your tits to me now?" FML

#12077771
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33361) - you deserved it (6474)

On 07/24/2010 at 1:23am - intimacy - by luvlessbootycall (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of three months texted me saying he loves me. I excitedly started texting back, "I love you too." Before I even got done, he messaged again saying, "Can you send a pic of your tits to me now?" FML

#12077771
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33361) - you deserved it (6474)

On 07/24/2010 at 1:23am - intimacy - by luvlessbootycall (woman) - United States (California)

Today, me and a couple of friends decided to go camping in a national park . When we got there, a ranger came up to us and said, "There have been many sightings of coyotes, don't worry, if they charge you, they'll bluff and flee at the last moment." We met a coyote, it didn't bluff. FML

#10594461
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26729) - you deserved it (3157)

On 05/17/2010 at 7:00pm - misc - by Coyote (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I came back from a week long class trip. My mother took it upon herself to replace my bed sheets and clean my room. Apparently, she found a note under my mattress from my ex-boyfriend. It said "For all you future dudes, Connor was here first!" FML

#9645798
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33445) - you deserved it (9442)

On 04/05/2010 at 3:32am - intimacy - by FASHlONABLE - United States (California)

Today, at a debate tournament based on domestic abuse, my partner yells out, "Has anyone considered that maybe the women DESERVED to be beaten?" FML

#9141842
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39110) - you deserved it (6005)

On 03/16/2010 at 8:46pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

#9133208
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27099) - you deserved it (6972)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States

Today, someone gave me a note to pass along to a girl in class. The note had the girl's name surrounded by hearts. When I gave it to her, she assumed it was a love note from me, and said "Not in a million years, fat ass" before I could say it was from someone else. FML

#8568837
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33123) - you deserved it (3264)

On 02/22/2010 at 9:46pm - love - by Crappyfayman (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was eating in the food court at the mall by myself but then a cute guy from my school offers to sit by me, I say yes of course, he then asks me for a french fry. Later on I realize he has eaten half my meal. He only wanted to sit by me for my food. FML

#8122444
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24826) - you deserved it (6198)

On 02/11/2010 at 4:12am - love - by purpledp12 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. We were walking in the park and I noticed a funny smell. I looked down and realized I stepped in dog crap. I tried to nonchalantly rub it off on the grass, but instead hit a patch of wet grass and slipped onto my butt, right into a pile of goose poop. FML

#7314783
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30320) - you deserved it (4153)

On 01/13/2010 at 3:07am - love - by Juanna (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML

#6712676
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13085) - you deserved it (39010)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after I bathed my nine month old, I laid her on my bed to grab a diaper. I turned around to see that she'd peed on my comforter. I then put her in her playpen to put my cover in the wash. I came back into the room to get her, and saw she'd taken off her diaper. She'd crapped in her playpen. FML

#6157147
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30268) - you deserved it (7894)

On 11/04/2009 at 8:23pm - kids - by raebay (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

#5701860
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (176292) - you deserved it (8989)

On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59623) - you deserved it (15339)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

#3842566
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36451) - you deserved it (95853)

On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: