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whereismyb4con

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whereismyb4con

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  • Number of visits : 781
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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whereismyb4con's FML badges

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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whereismyb4con's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband started a food fight. During our wedding reception. FML

#19033421
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28436) - you deserved it (5552)

On 02/09/2012 at 10:17am - love - by Zoey (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it was my first day being a full-time paramedic. I was shot in the arm. FML

#18850340
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36961) - you deserved it (2284)

On 01/19/2012 at 12:44am - work - by bad luck? - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

#18468865
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31828) - you deserved it (2812)

On 12/09/2011 at 2:38pm - love - by Vince (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I introduced my Chinese-born girlfriend to the rest of the family. My uncle immediately blurted out, "He's dating a communist." FML

#18242988
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32827) - you deserved it (4284)

On 11/14/2011 at 12:23am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML

#18069827
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28962) - you deserved it (3024)

On 10/25/2011 at 1:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML

#18049088
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30055) - you deserved it (3124)

On 10/22/2011 at 9:02pm - misc - by pretty_coin - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

#18022495
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51858) - you deserved it (16561)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML

#17954920
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25976) - you deserved it (5858)

On 10/10/2011 at 8:58pm - health - by maniac11 - United States (Texas)

Today, I started my first day working at a toddler day care center. At one point I decided to play "got your nose" with one of the kids. It turns out this kid has a physical birth abnormality on his face. I got his nose... his prosthetic nose. FML

#17629318
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41338) - you deserved it (11596)

On 08/31/2011 at 12:04pm - kids - by MJjunior (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while leaving work, I noticed a woman struggling with her wheelchair. Trying to be kind, I grabbed the handles and began to push her. A few moments later, the front wheels caught on something and I ended up dumping her onto the ground. Now my coworkers all think I'm a huge douche. FML

#17348241
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30158) - you deserved it (4906)

On 08/02/2011 at 9:47pm - work - by t2t2sync - United States (New York)

Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML

#17233282
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51964) - you deserved it (6190)

On 07/23/2011 at 8:09pm - misc - by assante2010 - United States (Maine)

Today, I was doing swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your girlfriend's problems! Swim, bitch!" FML

#17233165
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41559) - you deserved it (5492) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/23/2011 at 7:52pm - love - by mathii - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

#17115448
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54656) - you deserved it (9321)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
509 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131495) - you deserved it (7340)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, I bought an otter box. While setting up my iPhone, I dropped it and it is now shattered. FML

#16944357
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22221) - you deserved it (7621)

On 07/02/2011 at 1:50am - money - by hunter168647 - United States (Georgia)



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