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whereismyb4con

Offline (the 12/16/2014 at 8:33pm) | Search for a member

whereismyb4con

8Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 918
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About whereismyb4con : Lover of video games, food, dinosaurs, animals, tv, naps, and whining

Slayer of bacon, lover of books, connoisseur of racist jokes

whereismyb4con's page activity

Visits<b>fairydust7</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 4:19pm<b>maxyutd</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 9:53am<b>boricualuv</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 6:26pm<b>totallybananas</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 6:50am<b>ihateboys77</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 12:43am<b>ThatKidFromLA</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 3:10pm<b>RJT0308</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 10:20pm<b>ohray</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 5:25am<b>ZomboticKitteh</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 10:40pm<b>VMG</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 9:19pm<b>taylorbrown97</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 1:15am<b>KaseyAlex</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 12:07am<b>brendejafulable</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:47am<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 4:12am<b>kkkkkkkkkka</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 8:02pm<b>angelk19</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 12:52am<b>n3rdzgotskillz</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 3:20am<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 5:53pm

Liked!<b>ihateboys77</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 5:32pm<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:12am<b>boricualuv</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 2:06am<b>Gundai</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:01pm<b>kkkkkkkkkka</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:27pm<b>thealaskanyoung</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:41am<b>KaylaRox1908</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 12:35pm<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 12:05pm

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whereismyb4con's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64667) - you deserved it (5956)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50146) - you deserved it (7079)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67328) - you deserved it (9924)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

#20607466
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49359) - you deserved it (6444)

On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50606) - you deserved it (10863)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML

#20558472
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33850) - you deserved it (8799)

On 03/24/2013 at 7:47pm - love - by fuckyoutoo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

#20556322
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51563) - you deserved it (6252)

On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

#20556205
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44244) - you deserved it (3284)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

#20548943
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48362) - you deserved it (14419)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrified, I stopped playing 10 minutes in. Tonight, I kept hearing noises outside. When I peered out through the window, a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shrieked in absolute terror; he burst out laughing. It was my boyfriend. FML

#20520443
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33239) - you deserved it (4972)

On 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by stillfuckingcrying (woman) - Sweden (Kalmar Lan)

Today, at my cousin's birthday party, my grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. FML

#20481357
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27951) - you deserved it (2138)

On 01/27/2013 at 2:08pm - misc - by dynah114 (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

#20423578
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50191) - you deserved it (4729)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML

#20403594
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30777) - you deserved it (5743)

On 12/17/2012 at 11:21am - kids - by Bonding_boys (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend showed me a print of a Banksy that she'd just bought, telling me it was an original. When I tried to argue that it wasn't, she broke up with me for "implying she was a moron." FML

#20190801
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19358) - you deserved it (2527)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:17am - love - by Single (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)



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