whereismyb4con

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Offline (the 08/26/2015 at 8:27pm)

whereismyb4con

28Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2082
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About whereismyb4con : Lover of video games, food, dinosaurs, animals, tv, naps, and whining

Slayer of bacon, lover of books, connoisseur of racist jokes

whereismyb4con's page activity

Visits<b>clairecurses</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 4:24pm<b>natashamilan</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 1:46pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 9:09pm<b>brentt2711</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 7:55am<b>softpaws</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 6:47am<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 6:25pm<b>mds9986</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 12:04am<b>charrbee90</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 6:17am<b>Liamwme</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 4:41pm<b>julia_adamec</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 9:56am<b>lola4455</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 7:53am<b>sulvan182</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 5:44am<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 10:47pm<b>iAlissa</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 3:31pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 4:17am<b>uhmhaicats</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 11:46am<b>LeFrancaisRaleur</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 10:50am<b>Dougie_Bee</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 5:52pm

Fucked!<b>mds9986</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 6:04am<b>melisssa87</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 12:31am<b>AngelOf_Darkness</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 9:22pm<b>karcummings</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 9:47pm<b>kikoma</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 9:11am<b>teresa96706</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 9:39pm<b>swaggyswagswag</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 4:27am<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 3:46am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 2:36am<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 3:34am<b>molly471</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 12:32am<b>charrbee90</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 1:53pm<b>lolonewsom</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 5:53am<b>Pandacupcakelove</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 10:03pm<b>emmatheamazingx</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 6:03am<b>Miss_Klutzie</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 11:24pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 12:14am<b>UhHuhHoney</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 2:32am

whereismyb4con's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of whereismyb4con's badges

whereismyb4con's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad vehemently refused to let me go on vacation to France with my best friend, because he watched Taken a few months ago and apparently forgot that it's just a movie. FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2014 at 1:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

by subduedbeast / 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm / United States / Love

Today, I watched my co-worker throw the mother of all temper tantrums. He's a radio personality, and just learned that he's not famous enough to use the "Don't you know who I am?" line to get out of a traffic ticket. FML

by Radio GaGa / 10/27/2014 at 12:25pm / Canada / Work

Today, I puked up an anti-nausea pill. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2014 at 3:35pm / United States (Louisiana) / Health

Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2013 at 1:28pm / United States (South Dakota) / Health

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

by fsfs / 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

by um... what the fuck, miss? / 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 7:26pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML

by anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 2:12am / United States (Minnesota) / Geek

Today, I was eating an ice cream cone, when I felt something drop onto my bottom lip. Assuming it was a piece of ice cream, I quickly pulled it into my mouth. After a sharp sting to my tongue, I spat it out. It was a bee. FML

by SillyScotsman / 06/24/2013 at 2:49pm / United Kingdom (South Lanarkshire) / Health

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

by explanations / 06/14/2013 at 2:48am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, while at the beach, my son needed to pee. I told him to pee in the ocean. He took off his pants and peed from the beach to the water. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 7:01pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was sending intimate pictures to my girlfriend and accidentally sent one to my best friend. He sent me one back. FML

by Abrams52 / 05/28/2013 at 1:44am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my wife is having an affair with the same guy my ex-wife left me for. FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm / Ireland (Donegal) / Love