wayopens

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wayopens

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 101
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About wayopens : Hi, I'm Amelia and I'm weird. I like books, coffee, music, and movies. My favorite book is The Perks of Being a Wallflower, and my three favorite movies are Spirited Away, Donnie Darko, and Peter Pan. Have a lovely day!

wayopens's page activity

Visits<b>Covenant74</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 8:17pm<b>OscarDV</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 7:06am<b>Coop817</b> - the 01/25/2013 at 9:55pm<b>olpally</b> - the 12/27/2012 at 4:00pm<b>DestinysChampion</b> - the 12/26/2012 at 4:39pm<b>Pitbull305</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 9:46pm

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wayopens's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML

by Denki / 01/30/2013 at 7:21am / China (Beijing) / Love

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML

by fatbabysyndrome / 12/18/2012 at 12:33pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML

by Eganstein / 11/24/2012 at 6:11pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I told my boss that I quit, and handed in my two week's notice. A couple of hours later, I found my letter of resignation had been photocopied and copies hung all around the office with "Best day ever" written on the bottom. FML

by sad face / 11/24/2012 at 6:54am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

by KAAALIS / 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML

by bittersweet / 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

by caroline / 02/06/2009 at 10:29am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy