vostro_candy

Search for a member

vostro_candy

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10775
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About vostro_candy : We all have our share of bad days. While I have my share occasionally, I unfortunately have many friends who are just plain unlucky. I'll be posting their stories through this account.

vostro_candy's page activity

Visits<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 12:39pm<b>wondercat40</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 9:52am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:27am<b>maddog</b> - the 09/22/2009 at 11:51am<b>cwhitley21</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 11:54pm<b>yoshizle1123</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 12:57am<b>shabanana9</b> - the 05/26/2009 at 4:16pm<b>Elvana</b> - the 05/26/2009 at 8:12am<b>nafur15</b> - the 05/26/2009 at 7:19am<b>5PoPpIn6DrOpPiN</b> - the 05/22/2009 at 8:55am<b>Tormented28</b> - the 05/15/2009 at 1:20am<b>boatiebanter</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 12:08pm

vostro_candy's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

vostro_candy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working in a warehouse where fellow employees were kicking empty boxes around. Seeing a box, I got running distance and kicked it as hard as I could, only to look up in horror to see that I had kicked into our CEO's face. I still had both my arms up in score mode. FML

by zwillywilly / 08/10/2009 at 12:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I found out that when you chase a couple of squirrels off your porch for irritating your dogs, sometimes they chase you back. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2009 at 12:22am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I found out that when you chase a couple of squirrels off your porch for irritating your dogs, sometimes they chase you back. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2009 at 12:22am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I found out that when you chase a couple of squirrels off your porch for irritating your dogs, sometimes they chase you back. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2009 at 12:22am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I went to Knott's Berry Farm with my girlfriend. After we got off of Supreme Scream, the ride attendant asked her, "How was it?" She pointed to me and said, "It's like sex with this man, my boyfriend; intense, then disappointing because it only lasts like 30 seconds." FML

by blank13 / 08/08/2009 at 9:41pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I drunkenly made out with my 65 year-old married female boss. I'm a 21 year-old male intern. I have a feeling work will be awkward tomorrow. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2009 at 6:16pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I saw my girlfriend going into my best friend's dorm room and suspected her to cheat on me so I placed a camera in his room to spy on them. In the end, I discovered that my girlfriend has problems in math and both my best friend and brother are gay. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2009 at 3:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

by piratequeen / 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2009 at 1:10pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was talking with a close friend (who is a virgin) about why he did not want to have sex with a prostitute. He told me that "It's not nice to know that the girl you are having sex with has slept with half the country", he then added "That is exactly why I would not have sex with you". FML

by unlucky / 08/05/2009 at 12:29pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Intimacy

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML

by unbelievable208 / 08/05/2009 at 1:28am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a bar with my friends for my 19th birthday when I saw my dad grinding some chick that was not my mom. I confronted him and told him I was telling mom. He then pointed across the bar to my mom with another man. I just found out my parents are swingers. FML

by myparentsarehoes / 08/03/2009 at 12:33pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Intimacy

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

by theregoesmyspermcount / 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

by NinjaPanda88 / 08/01/2009 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML

by notsexy / 07/28/2009 at 6:28pm / United States (California) / Intimacy