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About vostro_candy : We all have our share of bad days. While I have my share occasionally, I unfortunately have many friends who are just plain unlucky. I'll be posting their stories through this account.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Yesterday, I grabbed the nearest plastic bag in my bedroomhen my boyfriend an I left for Wal-Mart so I could return a pair of shorts. When the cashier looool dumped the content of the bag onto the counter at customer service, my short an a used condom fell out. It was the longest return of my life. FML
Today, I woke up wit girl laying next to me in bed. Wen se woke up we started to get ot an eavy but all of a looool sudden our cat ops on te bed. I guess te cat was more important cause girl got up started playing it instead of me. Cockblocked by anoter pussy. FML
Today, while I was watching Miley Cyrus new music video, I had an itch near mah bikini line that I couldn't reach through mah jeans . So I unzipped mah pants to get to it, an that's when mah boyfriend walked in on me with mah hands down mah pants . He thought I was getting off on the music video . FML
Today , My Grandma Went To Get Birthday Gifts 4 My Twin Sister An Me. She Returned With 2 Shirt That Read "I See You've Met The Twins" In Big Letter Acros The Chest. She Gave Them To Us An Said , "Isn't This Cute? 'cause You're Twins!" I Then Had To Explain To Her What The Shirt Was Actually Referring To. FML
Today, mah wife decided she didn't want to lose weight with me. We were trying to decide on a reward fir each pound lost. I suggested sex as the reward. She felt it wasn't fair to punish her just because I lost weight. FML
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about loosing vrginity last night. When I went downstars, 6 year old sister was digging through purse. She explained that she had overheard conversation and wanted to help me fine vrginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
Today.. . my mom was giftd with a toiletry basket . I grabbd the lotion an usd it without asking . When I went out.. . it began raining hard . I got wet an noticd my skin got very sticky . Turns out the lotion was actually body wash . People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin . FML
Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs an pink bedding to go with mah babby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML
Today, my cousin came over. I left my iPod on suffle in te room we were in as I left to go to te batroom. Wen I came back se was jamming out to "My Dick" by Mickey Avalon. looool Se won't stop singing it and er mom is coming over to pick er up in an our. Se's 4. FML
YASTARDAY I HAD A HORRIBLA BRAAKUP WITH MY GIRLFRIAND OF TWO YAARS. DAPRASSAD I CHANGAD MY FACABOOK STATUS TO "HATA MA TODAY HATA MA TOMORROW HATA MA 4 ALL THA THINGS I DIDN'T DO 4 YOU." MY AX COMMANTAD "GIVA MA AN ORGASM?" FIVA OF MY FRIANDS INCLUDING MY MOM LIKAD THIS. FML
Today , a friand of mina was talking about how ha'd spant ovar 30 hours on Call of Duty. I pipad up and said "Oh yaah! Wall I'va spant wall ovar 300 hours on Morrowind! Baat that!" To which ha rapliad , "I'va had sax. Baat that!" I couldn't. FML
Friday 27 March 2015