vostro_candy

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vostro_candy

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10679
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About vostro_candy : We all have our share of bad days. While I have my share occasionally, I unfortunately have many friends who are just plain unlucky. I'll be posting their stories through this account.

vostro_candy's page activity

Visits<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 12:39pm<b>wondercat40</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 9:52am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:27am<b>maddog</b> - the 09/22/2009 at 11:51am<b>cwhitley21</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 11:54pm<b>yoshizle1123</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 12:57am<b>shabanana9</b> - the 05/26/2009 at 4:16pm<b>Elvana</b> - the 05/26/2009 at 8:12am<b>nafur15</b> - the 05/26/2009 at 7:19am<b>5PoPpIn6DrOpPiN</b> - the 05/22/2009 at 8:55am<b>Tormented28</b> - the 05/15/2009 at 1:20am<b>boatiebanter</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 12:08pm

vostro_candy's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

vostro_candy's favorite FMLs

Today, my co-worker came back from Thailand with big new breasts. She told me to go ahead and touch them because they have a funny texture for the first few months. When our GM entered the room, I had both hands down my co-worker's shirt, agreeing that they were unnaturally firm. FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2009 at 2:57am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I hired a private investigator to find out if my wife of 15 years is cheating on me with my brother. I don't know what's worse, that she is cheating on me, or that instead of cheating with my brother she's cheating with my brother's wife. FML

by nick2.0 / 09/09/2009 at 5:20pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML

by Missy / 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, we went to the mall and my husband picked me out some perfume. When I asked him why he liked that particular one he responded with, "that's what's the stripper at my bachelor party was wearing." He was completely serious. FML

by m / 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm / United States / Love

Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer I saw her battery was flat so I said "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said "Not yet." FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2009 at 5:58am / New Zealand (Otago) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML

by JuicyJohn / 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2009 at 5:20pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML

by ilovefootball / 09/07/2009 at 3:21pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that you can pierce your balls. However, sitting on a thumbtack is not the best way to find this out. FML

by Ballshurt / 09/07/2009 at 12:57am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend's family came over and I thought it would be fun to watch old family videos of when I was a kid. A few minutes into my 5th birthday party, I excused myself and went to grab some snacks for everyone. I returned to realize I had recorded porn over my family videos. FML

by Ex-girlfried / 09/06/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband asked me for permission to have an affair with his hot secretary. FML

by mandinga / 09/06/2009 at 5:35pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I got my renewed driver's license. It clearly indicates 'Sex: F'. My beard and penis beg to differ. FML

by HeShe / 09/06/2009 at 1:10pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML

by mandy / 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

by Co-B / 09/03/2009 at 4:59pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell asleep during naptime. I'm the teacher. FML

by yogabbagabba / 09/03/2009 at 1:05am / United States (New Jersey) / Work