Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

vondie440

Offline (the 05/16/2014 at 3:37pm) | Search for a member

vondie440

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 January 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 56
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About vondie440 : I'm married living in the midwest of the United States. I have 1 son with another child on the way. I work in a restaurant and live a pretty normal life.

vondie440's page activity

Visits<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 1:00pm<b>Ian_from_0070</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 8:51pm

vondie440's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of vondie440's badges

vondie440's favorite FMLs

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

#20810087
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51300) - you deserved it (11681)

On 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29481) - you deserved it (8243)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: