Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About vocaloidtiger : "I don't think there's anything man wasn't meant to know. There are just some stupid things that people shouldn't do." - David Cronenberg
Hey guys. I suppose I WOULD tell who I am, but that's too mainstream. Instead, I'll tell you what I'm NOT:
- 1 d0nT tYP3 L13k d1S (And I also really don't appreciate it at ALL when other people do).
- I don't flip tables when people don't use perfect grammar.
- I am not in the LEAST socially awesome.
- I am not a crazed stalker that lives in Vermont whose walls are covered in pictures of people that I have stalked and hope to someday murder with a plastic spoon (although you will never know if I just lied).
Did I mention that I'm also a philosopher who wants to become an engineer and someday hopes to discover the secrets of the universe and answer its seemingly unanswerable questions?
Yeah, I'll let you know how that works out for me.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML
Today, I was reading a book on paper for the first time in maybe a month. I had to stop at a word I did not recognise. Because I'm so used to using a Kindle, I tried to get the definition by pressing it. I had my finger on the word for a few seconds before I realised it was paper. FML
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML
Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML
Friday 22 May 2015