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vintageemerald

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vintageemerald
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 114
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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vintageemerald's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom was helping me clean out stuff from college. She opened a box and took out some anal beads I got as a gag gift. She asked, "What are these?" I answered, "They are for massaging your back". She then insisted I show her. I massaged my mother with anal beads. FML

#300638
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27165) - you deserved it (55183)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by DanniRae (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML

#108815
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73621) - you deserved it (4393)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I tried to befriend the lonely boy who sits at the end of my table at lunch. He always sleeps or does homework during lunch. I walked over to him, tripped, and spilled my open bottle of water on his jeans. I apologized profusely and wiped off his pants with napkins. He got hard. FML

#4106
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22295) - you deserved it (7510)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by brighteyes - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at a bar in Canada and was really hitting it off with a girl. She asked how big my junk was and I told her in inches... They use centimeters. FML

#3336
3 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17472) - you deserved it (33194)

On 01/29/2009 at 10:32am - intimacy - by KD - United States (Massachusetts)



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