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vintageemerald's favorite FMLs
Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML
by Nick / 02/22/2009 at 10:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried to befriend the lonely boy who sits at the end of my table at lunch. He always sleeps or does homework during lunch. I walked over to him, tripped, and spilled my open bottle of water on his jeans. I apologized profusely and wiped off his pants with napkins. He got hard. FML
by brighteyes / 01/31/2009 at 12:01pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long… Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was… Today, I travelled in a shared taxi on the winding roads of the Peruvian Andes. The guy next to me…