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Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58077) - you deserved it (5699)
On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was at a swim meet, swimming as hard as I'd ever swum before. During the last lap I saw no one in the lanes next to me. Thinking I was first, I became extremely excited. When I came to the wall, I realized the reason no one else was around: They already finished the race. I was last. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40452) - you deserved it (6091)
On 06/14/2013 at 12:06am - misc - by :( - United States (Colorado)
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML
I agree, your life sucks (43217) - you deserved it (2800)
On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51397) - you deserved it (3349)
On 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43311) - you deserved it (10464)
On 04/29/2013 at 12:51pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, my sister was crying to me about how her boyfriend never showed up for their date. He's done this many times before, so I suggested the fact that maybe he'd just ditched her. She said that was ridiculous, because "he's Canadian" and according to her, "they don't lie." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38767) - you deserved it (4113)
On 04/25/2013 at 4:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I walked in on my brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69805) - you deserved it (8240)
On 04/23/2013 at 2:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35056) - you deserved it (15546)
On 04/06/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by Evalynne - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I woke up from a nightmare that I've been having for a couple of weeks. In the nightmare I'm shot four times in the back by none other than my mother. I'm getting worried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26249) - you deserved it (2635)
On 04/05/2013 at 1:28am - misc - by slightlyworried (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33632) - you deserved it (2313)
On 04/04/2013 at 7:55pm - kids - by icanthearyou (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He slowly turned to face me, raised an eyebrow, and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17060) - you deserved it (46030)
On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)
Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52511) - you deserved it (11025)
On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, after getting a new haircut, I decided to take a few photos. I set up my iPhone in my room and began posing. It wasn't until numerous shots later that I realized my phone had posted every picture to Facebook, and they were all over everyone's newsfeed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14024) - you deserved it (36631)
On 03/26/2013 at 2:31pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32047) - you deserved it (4591)
On 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26062) - you deserved it (5128)
On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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