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50 quality responses
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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, my 4-year-old daughter couldn't sleep, crying that her teddy bear wants to eat her. My husband thought it would be funny to put the bear right in front of her face while she slept. She's now terrified to sleep anywhere but in our bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24961) - you deserved it (4026)
On 03/11/2013 at 7:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland
Today, my brother yelled at me, calling me a "no-good fucking whore", because I couldn't fix his laptop. The same laptop he threw on the floor after screaming "FUCKING HEAL MEEE!" at his game. As ever, my parents took his side, refusing to believe that I can't fix a cracked monitor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33175) - you deserved it (1504)
On 03/11/2013 at 7:57am - misc - by cunts, cunts everywhere - Australia
Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26427) - you deserved it (2799)
On 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm - misc - by jkbeynon - United States (California)
Today, my roommate told me that she wants to get some of those "My Family" stickers for her car. She's single and has no children. What does she want to get? One for her, and one for her goldfish. Sadly, this is probably one of the most intelligent things she's said all week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19768) - you deserved it (2175)
On 03/02/2013 at 9:35pm - misc - by dumbass for a flatmate - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, the "Child Care and Development" class at my high school assigned all 50 students to carry a fake baby around school all day for a week. I can't even read a page of my notes without hearing a robotic crying noise. Today is the first day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23005) - you deserved it (3768)
On 03/01/2013 at 8:20am - misc - by Headache - United States
Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML
I agree, your life sucks (43001) - you deserved it (2397)
On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)
Today, my parents told me that I'm no longer allowed to come home from boarding school on weekends because it will confuse my cats and disrupt their lives. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33713) - you deserved it (1801)
On 02/24/2013 at 6:17am - animals - by incendiaaa (woman) - Australia
Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29869) - you deserved it (4485)
On 02/23/2013 at 2:32am - work - by mypelvishurts - United States (California)
Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24883) - you deserved it (2097)
On 02/23/2013 at 1:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30234) - you deserved it (1849)
On 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25511) - you deserved it (2283)
On 02/18/2013 at 5:15pm - work - by ari (woman) - United States
Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25985) - you deserved it (3963)
On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)
Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish bi-product. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25027) - you deserved it (2688)
On 02/11/2013 at 10:48am - animals - by firestar772 - United States (California)
Today, I got married on Skyrim. To an elf. While in real life, my love life is floundering like a half-dead carp in the surf on a hot day. So much so in fact that I actually draw a measure of comfort from being married to an elf. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19426) - you deserved it (8656)
On 02/11/2013 at 2:19am - love - by mr_loveless (man) - United States
Today, I watched The Passion of the Christ with my girlfriend. She kept scoffing at what she called the "historical inaccuracies", and actually tried to convince me that Hitler killed Jesus. When I corrected her, she looked at me, mouth agape, as if I was insane. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24912) - you deserved it (3257)
On 02/08/2013 at 7:44pm - love - by and she doesn't even give bjs (man) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)
Monday 17 June 2013
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