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victus

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victus
  • Town/Country : here, there, everywhere
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 456
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About victus : Hmmm.. well, I like elephants, am an avid runner, and live a rather boring life. Not much else to say, if you have any questions feel free to ask!

victus's last visitors

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victus's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of victus's badges

victus's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out the bed I sleep in is the bed I was conceived in. FML

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

#19509709
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23750) - you deserved it (10142)

On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)

Today, I was waiting in line for what seemed like forever at the only open lane at the grocery store. The guy in front of me took his sweet time and had multiple cards rejected, before finally pulling out a $100 bill and demanding exact change. He was buying a carton of milk. FML

#19467160
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19900) - you deserved it (1699)

On 04/14/2012 at 3:27pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11628) - you deserved it (51470) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML

#19438168
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21190) - you deserved it (2430)

On 04/09/2012 at 6:32pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a basketball game. A very pretty woman sat next to him. During the third quarter, the kiss cam came on. But it didn't show him and me, it showed him and the other girl. And they kissed. FML

#19426684
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42684) - you deserved it (2952)

On 04/07/2012 at 11:19pm - love - by jordyn173 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I came home from work to find a burglar in my house. He then said that he was just leaving, and went back out of the broken window. FML

#19392856
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20814) - you deserved it (1385)

On 04/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I offered an elderly man my seat on the train. He thanked me by winking and offering me a seat on his lap. FML

#19387576
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16907) - you deserved it (2140)

On 04/01/2012 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

#19343662
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36620) - you deserved it (11379)

On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend, and ended up sitting next to this girl who wouldn't stop sneezing. Grossed out, I asked my boyfriend if we could switch seats. After doing so, the girl immediately stopped sneezing and started flirting with him. FML

#19331196
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27839) - you deserved it (4932)

On 03/23/2012 at 3:39am - love - by Hana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was accused of being high. Why? Because I was playing with a milk bottle. FML

#19331009
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15895) - you deserved it (4407)

On 03/23/2012 at 2:18am - misc - by Not_High (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was learning to drive a stick when a cop decided to pull me over just to laugh at me. FML

#19327826
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19590) - you deserved it (2744)

On 03/22/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by Chey - United States (California)

Today, my history teacher confiscated my iPhone. She dropped it on the way back to her desk, and I now have a shattered iPhone screen to fix. FML

#19233379
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26119) - you deserved it (27219)

On 03/07/2012 at 2:25pm - misc - by sad face - Canada (Ontario)

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16463) - you deserved it (28439)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)



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