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victus

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victus
  • Town/Country : here, there, everywhere
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 466
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About victus : Hmmm.. well, I like elephants, am an avid runner, and live a rather boring life. Not much else to say, if you have any questions feel free to ask!

victus's last visitors

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victus's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of victus's badges

victus's favorite FMLs

Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML

#19632849
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4453) - you deserved it (18470)

On 05/16/2012 at 4:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, I fell into a hole. And by hole, I mean a sewer. FML

#19631196
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21709) - you deserved it (2489)

On 05/16/2012 at 6:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML

#19627538
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18092) - you deserved it (5758)

On 05/15/2012 at 3:02pm - misc - by FML (woman) - Finland

Today, I'm on a trip to Poland with some friends. We came to experience the country's culture, and to challenge our preconceptions about this part of Europe. We had sat on a bench, and not ten seconds later, a stranger approached and asked, "How much for your friend?" FML

#19626954
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18131) - you deserved it (2306) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/15/2012 at 11:59am - misc - by LearnToLive -

Today, if you live in California, you might have seen a crazy drunk guy naked in front of a McDonald's, waving at everyone. Yeah, that was probably me. FML

#19618137
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6182) - you deserved it (20667)

On 05/13/2012 at 6:30pm - misc - by smh (man) - United States (California)

Today, I attended a formal banquet. The host was delivering a speech, when I felt the urge to pee, so I tried to quietly excuse myself. My chair screeched over the floor as I got up, I tripped over my own feet, and I accidentally took the door leading outdoors, where I ended up peeing in shame. FML

#19613905
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18071) - you deserved it (3297)

On 05/12/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by Andy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML

#19608717
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22354) - you deserved it (3369)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Class (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

#19592298
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28075) - you deserved it (2843)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States

Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML

#19579896
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24876) - you deserved it (1798)

On 05/06/2012 at 12:09am - health - by catherineratley - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got tasered by a cop. It was his second day on the job. My crime? Sneezing during a sobriety test. FML

#19576269
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26461) - you deserved it (1961)

On 05/05/2012 at 7:44am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I sarcastically pointed out a book to my mom, titled "Living Successfully With Screwed Up People." She already has it. FML

#19568451
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14509) - you deserved it (3188)

On 05/03/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by screwedupkid -

Today, I had a chest x-ray. I thought everything was okay, that is until the tech gasped slightly and muttered, "Mother of God." I asked him what was wrong, and he kept insisting he had no idea what I was talking about. Now I'm so upset I can't even sleep. FML

#19564735
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27802) - you deserved it (1936)

On 05/02/2012 at 6:41pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, after putting an ad on Craigslist to sell a coat, I finally got a call. The guy on the phone seemed interested, and was especially curious to know if I could "model" it for him, in "stockings and suspenders." FML

#19552915
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20506) - you deserved it (3085)

On 04/30/2012 at 11:50am - intimacy - by NotAModel (woman) - United States

Today, I was with a friend at the mall and I made eye contact and smiled at the worker at a smoothie stand that I went on a date with last year. He saw me, and then ducked down behind the register, where he remained while his coworker awkwardly leaned over him to take my order and money. FML

#19540774
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18601) - you deserved it (2403)

On 04/28/2012 at 2:54am - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I was crossing an intersection, a car ran a red light and almost hit me. This kind of thing happens a lot in my town so I'm used to almost being run-down, except this time it was a small boy on his father's lap steering. The dad was laughing. FML

#19531313
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21941) - you deserved it (1489)

On 04/26/2012 at 7:49am - misc - by Diffy - United States (Massachusetts)



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