About victus : Hmmm.. well, I like elephants, am an avid runner, and live a rather boring life. Not much else to say, if you have any questions feel free to ask!
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victus's favorite FMLs
Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML
by Bishop / 06/06/2012 at 10:19am / Transportation
Today, I approached a cute girl at a club, when she started barking at me like a rabid dog. Thinking she might be mentally unhinged, I left, only to see the same girl laughing her ass off with her friends minutes later. When I went back over, her friends started barking at me too. FML
by Anonymous / 06/05/2012 at 3:34pm / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend. There's a short cut to my house by jumping a fence but he insisted that we take the long way because, "Girls don't jump fences." To prove him wrong, I jumped the fence. I fell and broke my leg. FML
by Josie / 06/05/2012 at 12:27am / United States (Kentucky) / Love
by BooBabe / 06/04/2012 at 7:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by Stolemylady / 06/04/2012 at 3:05am / Australia / Love
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to break up with her. It was a hard decision and both of us became quite emotionally overwhelmed at the time. We began to hug as a final goodbye, then her mum burst in the room and yelled, "HE FINALLY PROPOSED!" FML
by Matt / 06/03/2012 at 10:21am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
by lol112 / 06/02/2012 at 8:47am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by ironyisabitch / 06/02/2012 at 1:43am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, a girl started talking to me at the bus stop. After it descended into an awkward silence, I jumped on my bus to avoid further conversation. She got on the same bus. And got off at the same stop. I swear the whole bus could feel the tension. FML
by Silent / 06/01/2012 at 10:24am / Singapore / Love
by Discouraged / 05/31/2012 at 8:43am / United States (Maryland) / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/30/2012 at 6:35pm / Italy (Lombardia) / Love
by HorcruxDelight73 / 05/26/2012 at 7:00pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
by Karate Kid / 05/25/2012 at 2:29am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/24/2012 at 9:37pm / United States (Kansas) / Kids
Today, I was eating lunch, and accidentally got ketchup on the sofa, so I hastily doused it with stain remover. The ketchup is now no longer there; however there is a larger stain in its place. I stained the sofa with stain remover. FML
by Anonymous / 05/24/2012 at 3:23pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got… 3Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for…