Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

victus

Offline (the 10/31/2014 at 12:23am) | Search for a member

victus

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 809
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About victus : Hmmm.. well, I like elephants, am an avid runner, and live a rather boring life. Not much else to say, if you have any questions feel free to ask!

victus's page activity

Visits<b>LickitungJr</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 12:26am<b>tralala453</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 10:27am<b>jesnake</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 8:14am<b>awaydoggy</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 5:23am<b>_Y0L0_</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 2:26am<b>Livestrong14</b> - the 02/09/2013 at 10:09pm<b>iOceanus</b> - the 02/09/2013 at 1:31am<b>Gunnie</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 2:19pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 3:28pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 01/17/2013 at 5:22am<b>maz95</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 8:15pm<b>Teen_Facts</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 9:20am

victus's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of victus's badges

victus's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister asked me if I was going to be getting married "for real" this time, because she didn't want to waste her money like she did on my previous engagement. The reason that one didn't work out in the first place is because she slept with my fiancé. FML

#19797334
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44624) - you deserved it (2122)

On 06/16/2012 at 3:03pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at the mall with my friend. A lady came up to us and told my friend that she could be a model. Then the lady looked at me and said, "Oh... Nice shoes." FML

#19790589
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23478) - you deserved it (2220)

On 06/15/2012 at 1:54am - misc - by Rose (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML

#19788440
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49811) - you deserved it (3363)

On 06/14/2012 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by aranya (man) - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I was out to coffee with an extremely attractive friend. A crazy man came up to the window we were facing. He took one look at her, then turned to me with a big, congratulatory smile, flashing me a thumbs-up. Then he turned to her, frowned disappointedly and gave a thumbs-down. FML

#19785807
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22373) - you deserved it (2004)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:11am - misc - by offended (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

#19784207
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13152) - you deserved it (23578)

On 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm - misc - by ww2freak - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was told off for not holding the door open for a woman behind me at work. Yesterday I was informed that chivalry is offensive to women, as it implies that they are not equal to men. I can't win. FML

#19774183
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26915) - you deserved it (3394)

On 06/11/2012 at 11:56pm - misc - by JohnBlack (man) - United States

Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML

#19770940
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19440) - you deserved it (2864)

On 06/11/2012 at 2:16pm - work - by bronieswillrule5eva (man) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML

#19769177
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27340) - you deserved it (4709)

On 06/11/2012 at 3:14am - animals - by ILoveAnimals (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I discovered that my expensive new shampoo smells exactly like my ex-girlfriend. So now, whenever I shower, I'm showered with depression. FML

#19766559
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23952) - you deserved it (4468)

On 06/10/2012 at 5:14pm - love - by anon - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, saying he had to move away to be with his dad, who's just been diagnosed with cancer. After talking to his sister, I discovered that not only is his dad healthy, he's not moving away either; he's just gotten back with his ex. FML

#19766178
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31819) - you deserved it (2122)

On 06/10/2012 at 3:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, while at my cosmetics job, an elderly lady came up to me asking for a product. I told her we had a smaller size and a larger size for a better deal. She told me she wanted the smaller size because she'd "probably be dead" before she finished that one. I laughed. She was serious. FML

#19764407
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23757) - you deserved it (4646)

On 06/10/2012 at 4:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, neither of my parents fought for my custody. FML

#19763325
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51139) - you deserved it (3234)

On 06/10/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by Anon - United States

Today, is the third day since I opened my small coffee shop. My parents had given me a nice frame to put my first dollar from working in. I had to sneak in a dollar from my own wallet so they wouldn't know how bad business was when they came to visit. FML

#19762113
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23818) - you deserved it (2295)

On 06/09/2012 at 8:24pm - work - by jeremyj (man) - United States

Today, after a long night of partying, I fell asleep, while my bride was delivering her vows. FML

#19761767
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6350) - you deserved it (52345)

On 06/09/2012 at 7:04pm - love - by UnluckyGroom (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I saw my mom changing the expiry date on milk. She genuinely thought this would make the milk sour later. FML

#19759587
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24422) - you deserved it (1826)

On 06/09/2012 at 9:54am - health - by WTF (woman) - Australia (South Australia)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: