victus

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Offline (the 02/05/2016 at 2:54am)

victus

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1601
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About victus : Hmmm.. well, I like elephants, am an avid runner, and live a rather boring life. Not much else to say, if you have any questions feel free to ask!

victus's page activity

Visits<b>LickitungJr</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 12:26am<b>tralala453</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 10:27am<b>jesnake</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 8:14am<b>awaydoggy</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 5:23am<b>_Y0L0_</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 2:26am<b>Livestrong14</b> - the 02/09/2013 at 10:09pm<b>iOceanus</b> - the 02/09/2013 at 1:31am<b>Gunnie</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 2:19pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 3:28pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 01/17/2013 at 5:22am<b>maz95</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 8:15pm<b>Teen_Facts</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 9:20am

victus's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of victus's badges

victus's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the mall with my friend. A lady came up to us and told my friend that she could be a model. Then the lady looked at me and said, "Oh... Nice shoes." FML

by Rose / 06/15/2012 at 1:54am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML

by aranya / 06/14/2012 at 6:51pm / Netherlands (Overijssel) / Intimacy

Today, I was out to coffee with an extremely attractive friend. A crazy man came up to the window we were facing. He took one look at her, then turned to me with a big, congratulatory smile, flashing me a thumbs-up. Then he turned to her, frowned disappointedly and gave a thumbs-down. FML

by offended / 06/14/2012 at 4:11am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

by ww2freak / 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was told off for not holding the door open for a woman behind me at work. Yesterday I was informed that chivalry is offensive to women, as it implies that they are not equal to men. I can't win. FML

by JohnBlack / 06/11/2012 at 11:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML

by bronieswillrule5eva / 06/11/2012 at 2:16pm / Canada (Prince Edward Island) / Work

Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML

by ILoveAnimals / 06/11/2012 at 3:14am / Austria (Wien) / Animals

Today, I discovered that my expensive new shampoo smells exactly like my ex-girlfriend. So now, whenever I shower, I'm showered with depression. FML

by anon / 06/10/2012 at 5:14pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Love

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, saying he had to move away to be with his dad, who's just been diagnosed with cancer. After talking to his sister, I discovered that not only is his dad healthy, he's not moving away either; he's just gotten back with his ex. FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2012 at 3:50pm / United Kingdom (Norfolk) / Love

Today, while at my cosmetics job, an elderly lady came up to me asking for a product. I told her we had a smaller size and a larger size for a better deal. She told me she wanted the smaller size because she'd "probably be dead" before she finished that one. I laughed. She was serious. FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2012 at 4:47am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, neither of my parents fought for my custody. FML

by Anon / 06/10/2012 at 12:19am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, is the third day since I opened my small coffee shop. My parents had given me a nice frame to put my first dollar from working in. I had to sneak in a dollar from my own wallet so they wouldn't know how bad business was when they came to visit. FML

by jeremyj / 06/09/2012 at 8:24pm / United States / Work

Today, after a long night of partying, I fell asleep, while my bride was delivering her vows. FML

by UnluckyGroom / 06/09/2012 at 7:04pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I saw my mom changing the expiry date on milk. She genuinely thought this would make the milk sour later. FML

by WTF / 06/09/2012 at 9:54am / Australia (South Australia) / Health

Today, I saw my mom changing the expiry date on milk. She genuinely thought this would make the milk sour later. FML

by WTF / 06/09/2012 at 9:54am / Australia (South Australia) / Health