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viathevoid's favorite FMLs
Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML
by vanessa560 / 01/03/2012 at 2:44pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML
by axel519 / 12/30/2011 at 9:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Kevin / 12/29/2011 at 2:32pm / France / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/28/2011 at 12:03pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 12/28/2011 at 3:14am / United States (Oregon) / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/25/2011 at 7:07pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Intimacy
by Anonymoose / 12/25/2011 at 6:39am / Switzerland (Zurich) / Animals
by steve / 12/22/2011 at 10:02pm / United States / Animals
Today, while waiting for my train, I was listening to a voicemail message on my phone. Out of nowhere, a stranger came up to me from behind and screamed "DELETE!" into my ear. His voice command deleted my message. FML
by anna / 12/22/2011 at 4:25pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML
by Cookie / 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm / South Africa / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at work handling the cash register. It wasn't working correctly, so I apologized to the woman I was waiting on for the delay and explained, "The cash register's being a little retarded today." Then I noticed her clearly "special" adult son standing behind her. FML
by insomnia / 12/22/2011 at 10:23am / United States / Work
by JackSteely / 12/22/2011 at 7:04am / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend told me love is like a drug. I started tearing up because this is the most romantic he has been in a while. He then went on to break up with me, telling me that my "prescription is up". FML
by Jean / 12/22/2011 at 3:09am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Love
by kaipodable / 12/21/2011 at 8:41pm / United States (California) / Animals
by Anonymous / 12/21/2011 at 6:36pm / Canada (Alberta) / Money
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, during a family dinner with my grandparents, I showed them some pictures. One was a picture… Today, returning home, I found my roommate trying one of my bras. When he saw my shocked face, the… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without…