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Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17551) - you deserved it (6936)
On 03/13/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Wow (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16229) - you deserved it (2316)
On 03/11/2012 at 11:04pm - animals - by weep weep weep (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was discussing the possibility of other life in the universe with my friend. She said the universe isn't big enough for it to be possible, and that we would know about it already, because "there are only 8 planets in the universe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19147) - you deserved it (1960)
On 03/11/2012 at 6:37pm - misc - by daninalani (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He gave me a cupcake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16330) - you deserved it (2365)
On 03/07/2012 at 8:08pm - work - by Janitor (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I came home to an eviction notice after an apartment inspection. The reason? Having an unauthorized pet that could cause unnecessary damage to my suite. My pet is a goldfish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22290) - you deserved it (2213)
On 03/05/2012 at 9:47pm - animals - by goldfish - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19890) - you deserved it (6927)
On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States
Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (127) - you deserved it (2726)
On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom
Today, I had a dream about the damn cappuccino machine at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14367) - you deserved it (2413)
On 02/26/2012 at 9:43pm - misc - by slickrick22 (man) - United States
Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13949) - you deserved it (20570)
On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)
Today, we had our whole staff photo. We all had to stand up in rows in height order, as I'm tall I had to stand in the middle, at the back. I'm horribly claustrophobic and ended up fainting in front of 100 colleagues, taking down 4 people around me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16959) - you deserved it (2216)
On 02/23/2012 at 7:11am - work - by photofaint - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6347) - you deserved it (11873)
On 02/22/2012 at 2:56am - misc - by jenni6488 - United Kingdom (Gateshead)
Today, my sculpture, which is very important for my art grade, fell from my desk and broke to pieces. My art teacher suggested I soak the parts in water to make it easier to stick them back together. They dissolved. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20508) - you deserved it (2143)
On 02/21/2012 at 2:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - Germany (Thuringen)
Today, I met my brother for the first time in 20 years. Everything was going great, until he tried to make out with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35537) - you deserved it (1974)
On 02/16/2012 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I started speaking gibberish in the middle of the conversation with my mom to see if she would notice. She didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18282) - you deserved it (1886)
On 02/15/2012 at 8:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, as I was leaving for work, I discovered my neighbor had just passed away. I found out when I came across his body lying in my front yard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24052) - you deserved it (1256)
On 02/15/2012 at 6:53pm - misc - by Jedi2500 (man) - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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