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Mobility
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Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17005) - you deserved it (3225)
On 04/05/2012 at 8:41pm - health - by TwiceDaily,Kids (man) - United States
Today, I realized my Internet addiction had gone too far when I tried to Google what was in my freezer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4294) - you deserved it (15286)
On 04/05/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I got my license. Instead of congratulating me, my buddies created a betting pool for when I get into a serious accident. Thanks for the support. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14781) - you deserved it (2835)
On 04/05/2012 at 4:07pm - misc - by anal4me (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "new pirate" in the office. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9573) - you deserved it (14038)
On 04/04/2012 at 9:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, I noticed a strange lady following me around in the mall. After a while I began to get creeped out, so I confronted her. Apparently she has to make sure everything she buys is better than what I buy. After a long silence she said, "What? You never noticed me before?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23595) - you deserved it (1314)
On 04/03/2012 at 11:40pm - misc - by Eliza - United States (Texas)
Today, I took a very expensive flight to New York City for a job interview. I waited in my hotel room all day for the phone call to go to my once in a lifetime interview. By noon I was nervous, eight I was pissed. Around ten I realized my phone was still in airplane mode. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22071) - you deserved it (13710)
On 03/31/2012 at 8:35am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I discovered that it is possible for bugs to lay eggs in your ears. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21036) - you deserved it (2066)
On 03/25/2012 at 10:53pm - health - by John (man) - Saint Lucia
Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30264) - you deserved it (8665)
On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, in health class we were watching a documentary about anxiety. My teacher asked if any of us often feel anxious. I was too anxious to raise my hand, and went into a minor panic attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18985) - you deserved it (2909)
On 03/23/2012 at 10:23am - health - by cjd - Canada (Quebec)
Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8167) - you deserved it (45165)
On 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was out with my dog, who loves to bury things. He had recently torn apart his toy and buried it in the sand. I saw a piece of it sticking out of the ground, so I picked it up. It turns out that I was not holding his toy, but rather a dead bat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14841) - you deserved it (1592)
On 03/21/2012 at 12:03pm - animals - by GabisayzRAWR - United States (Missouri)
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23056) - you deserved it (13326)
On 03/21/2012 at 12:50am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, I had to explain to my friend that the world did not used to be black and white. It was just the pictures that were. She still doesn't believe me. She's eighteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20771) - you deserved it (1897)
On 03/14/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by CierraJordan - United States (Utah)
Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22492) - you deserved it (12955)
On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)
Today, I got my yearbook. My sister and I are identical twins, and we realized only my sister had a picture in it. When we asked the head of yearbook, they said they thought it was the same girl trying to get two pictures, so they put in the prettier one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30547) - you deserved it (1425)
On 03/13/2012 at 2:12am - misc - by Rynne S. - United States (Colorado)
Monday 20 May 2013
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