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viathevoid's favorite FMLs
Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML
by ugh / 06/08/2012 at 12:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Apissedoffguy / 06/03/2012 at 11:20am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to Safeway. The security guard wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. When I confronted him about it he told me that they looked fake and he was making sure I didn't stuff my bra with stolen items. FML
by ilovezim29 / 06/03/2012 at 3:45am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/03/2012 at 1:50am / United States (New Jersey) / Health
by lol112 / 06/02/2012 at 8:47am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came out of the closet. I came out on Facebook to spare myself awkward conversations and gossip. I wrote a deeply meaningful status about my partner and my pride in who I was. The only responses were, "Lol", "Hacked", and similar remarks. FML
by OutOfTheCloset / 06/02/2012 at 2:50am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend called me, panicking. Apparently he had a headache, but wasn't concentrating on what tablets he grabbed, and accidentally took tablets for "relief of period pain". He was convinced he was going to grow ovaries overnight. FML
by sopheeah / 05/29/2012 at 3:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Health
by buckley456 / 05/27/2012 at 11:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was eating lunch, and accidentally got ketchup on the sofa, so I hastily doused it with stain remover. The ketchup is now no longer there; however there is a larger stain in its place. I stained the sofa with stain remover. FML
by Anonymous / 05/24/2012 at 3:23pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Miscellaneous
Today, my wardrobe door jammed, and I couldn't change out into some nice clothes for my date. On the way there, my car broke down. Not wanting to be late and make a bad impression, I scuttled the rest of the way, only to find I'd been stood up. FML
by cheesfactor / 05/19/2012 at 3:50pm / Bulgaria (Ruse) / Miscellaneous
Today, before I went into surgery, the patient next to me just finished the same procedure I was going to get. As he woke up in the recovery area 10 feet away, I was getting my final prep before the operation. On my way into the operating room I was comforted by his screams of agonizing pain. FML
by lubey / 05/19/2012 at 6:02am / United States (North Carolina) / Health
Today, my 20-year-old son's external hard-drive stopped working. He's crying on my shoulder now, not because of the movies, porn, work, or music he probably lost, but because of the now irretrievable complete series of Digimon that he'd collected. FML
by OytoBeAfather / 05/15/2012 at 11:05pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by fock / 05/06/2012 at 10:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Kwalker3 / 05/06/2012 at 2:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by catherineratley / 05/06/2012 at 12:09am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
- Today, I’m a French teacher in Ukraine, and in class we were debating gun legislation. In order to… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he…