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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, my business is doing so badly that people are teaching their kids to drive in the empty parking lot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24022) - you deserved it (1793)
On 12/20/2011 at 10:18pm - work - by Thomas - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I found out while skiing that my dad likes to call me Pimple because I have a pink coat and white helmet. He has tried to squeeze me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17476) - you deserved it (4421)
On 12/20/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I heard someone calling my name. It was my neighbor. Turns out they named their dogs after my mother, my sister and me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23766) - you deserved it (2672)
On 12/20/2011 at 6:49am - misc - by IHopeYourDogsGetDiarrheaAndPoopOnYourBed (woman) - Mauritius
Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5191) - you deserved it (22946)
On 12/20/2011 at 3:14am - misc - by phansmootchie (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9481) - you deserved it (19919)
On 12/19/2011 at 3:57pm - work - by Bob smith (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my girlfriend tried to cover my eyes while I was driving on the main street, all because she caught me looking at an ad featuring bikini-clad girls on the bus ahead of our car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20504) - you deserved it (4128)
On 12/19/2011 at 3:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, my brother and I proposed to our girlfriends at the same time. We had perfect synchronization after practicing for days. My brother's girlfriend said yes, mine said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42824) - you deserved it (3760)
On 12/19/2011 at 10:40am - love - by emmmbo - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34345) - you deserved it (3530)
On 12/19/2011 at 1:43am - intimacy - by lovely (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, my boyfriend proposed. I fainted due to the excitement. He took it as a "no" and won't pick up my calls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27700) - you deserved it (2925)
On 12/18/2011 at 7:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after spending hours wrapping the presents for Christmas, I came back into the room to find that my dog had lost his toy, knocked over all the presents, and was frantically ripping at everything to find it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16373) - you deserved it (2147)
On 12/18/2011 at 2:31pm - animals - by dogh8er (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26111) - you deserved it (11658)
On 12/18/2011 at 5:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia
Today, I went to dinner to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I received a text message, so I pulled out my phone to check. Apparently, his parents have a "No phone at the table rule" and took my phone away until I can learn "proper table manners." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13166) - you deserved it (30777)
On 12/18/2011 at 4:59am - misc - by grounded - United States (Texas)
Today, I got screamed at, threatened, cursed, and spat on by an elderly couple for "running them off the road". I was driving an ambulance, lights and sirens on, with a 4 year old in the back who couldn't breathe. They were going 20 in a 50mph zone for 2 miles straight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40350) - you deserved it (1581)
On 12/18/2011 at 2:44am - work - by Sedici - United States
Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25796) - you deserved it (2018)
On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by scammed - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25491) - you deserved it (4489) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Friday 24 May 2013
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