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viathevoid's favorite FMLs
by Thomas / 12/20/2011 at 10:18pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work
by Anonymous / 12/20/2011 at 12:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by IHopeYourDogsGetDiarrheaAndPoopOnYourBed / 12/20/2011 at 6:49am / Mauritius / Miscellaneous
Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML
by phansmootchie / 12/20/2011 at 3:14am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML
by Bob smith / 12/19/2011 at 3:57pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by Anonymous / 12/19/2011 at 3:31pm / United States (New York) / Transportation
by emmmbo / 12/19/2011 at 10:40am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love
by lovely / 12/19/2011 at 1:43am / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/18/2011 at 7:10pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, after spending hours wrapping the presents for Christmas, I came back into the room to find that my dog had lost his toy, knocked over all the presents, and was frantically ripping at everything to find it. FML
by dogh8er / 12/18/2011 at 2:31pm / United States (Florida) / Animals
by Anonymous / 12/18/2011 at 5:09am / Australia / Intimacy
Today, I went to dinner to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I received a text message, so I pulled out my phone to check. Apparently, his parents have a "No phone at the table rule" and took my phone away until I can learn "proper table manners." FML
by grounded / 12/18/2011 at 4:59am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got screamed at, threatened, cursed, and spat on by an elderly couple for "running them off the road". I was driving an ambulance, lights and sirens on, with a 4 year old in the back who couldn't breathe. They were going 20 in a 50mph zone for 2 miles straight. FML
by Sedici / 12/18/2011 at 2:44am / United States / Transportation
Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML
by scammed / 12/18/2011 at 12:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
by espylone / 12/17/2011 at 10:42am / France / Kids
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…