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vespergreen

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vespergreen
  • Town/Country : Neverwhere
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1143
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About vespergreen : Your body contains the universe, and I want to touch every star.

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vespergreen's favorite FMLs

Today, for the tenth time, my teacher made a misbehaving student sit next to me as punishment. He begged for detention instead. FML

#20945365
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46252) - you deserved it (5077)

On 11/04/2013 at 5:01pm - misc - by WinkleBottom (man) - United States

Today, I was telling my friends a story. I added a few "embellishments" to make it more intense. One my friends piped up with, "I was with you, half of what you just said wasn't true". It's now all over Facebook and I'm known as "The Bullshitter". FML

#20944930
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15461) - you deserved it (62284)

On 11/04/2013 at 6:39am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work what a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML

#20944786
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55867) - you deserved it (2830)

On 11/04/2013 at 12:45am - intimacy - by TheTruthofWomen (woman) - United States

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend, feeling pretty low. I said something along the lines of "You like me even when I look like shit." He replied, "Ah, that's just how you naturally look." FML

#20942129
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37343) - you deserved it (5889)

On 11/02/2013 at 1:06am - love - by lucy_g (woman) - United States

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

#20940283
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38600) - you deserved it (7823)

On 10/31/2013 at 2:27pm - kids - by anna (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was wearing a letterman jacket that had my school name and "Okinawa Japan" on the back. A high school kid walks up to me and says, "I can't forgive you people for bombing Pearl Harbor." I'm black. FML

#20938215
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39518) - you deserved it (3249)

On 10/29/2013 at 6:31pm - misc - by The_FN_Gunny - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I reminded my husband that I was on my period, so he wouldn't try to fool around with me. A few hours later, his goldfish-like memory kicked in and he stuck his hand down my pants while we were going to bed. I was wearing a maxi pad. FML

#20935542
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49899) - you deserved it (4688)

On 10/27/2013 at 11:26am - intimacy - by SharkWeek (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at work, I had a customer accuse me of taking the giftcard I had issued her for her return, after spending 15 minutes trying to fix her screwed up transaction. She began to yell, and follow me around the store. Security had to intervene and I had to be locked in an office until she left. FML

#20935219
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35576) - you deserved it (2215)

On 10/27/2013 at 12:57am - work - by KatieElizabeth (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML

#20934961
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34842) - you deserved it (3404)

On 10/26/2013 at 9:23pm - animals - by Puppy problems - United States (Vermont)

Today, my mother came over to visit, and my kids started excitedly telling her Christmas is coming soon. She freaked out, saying Christmas is a "Satanic holiday" and telling them that Santa is going to hell along with everyone who celebrates it. My children are now traumatized. FML

#20933801
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39786) - you deserved it (3099)

On 10/25/2013 at 7:20pm - kids - by Jane M (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, a few of my friends arranged for us to go skinny-dipping with the guy I really like. It went really well, until a turd surfaced before our eyes. After we scrambled out of the pool in panic, my crush called us all freaks and left. FML

#20927673
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37697) - you deserved it (4776)

On 10/20/2013 at 3:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when we have sex. FML

#20927617
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46777) - you deserved it (4194)

On 10/20/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by U_U (woman) - United States

Today, I realized how bad my OCD is when I accidentally got a paper cut and I was annoyed by the fact that the cut wasn't in a straight line. FML

#20927328
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39065) - you deserved it (5573)

On 10/20/2013 at 10:34am - health - by Teiu88 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my brother is adamant that if he records silence, then listens to said silence at full volume, it'll improve the headphones' noise-blocking abilities. I live with a complete idiot. FML

#20921378
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36593) - you deserved it (2824)

On 10/15/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Eggs6131 (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

#20919796
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40162) - you deserved it (2907)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)



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