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vespergreen

Offline (19 hours ago) | Search for a member

vespergreen

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1994
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About vespergreen : I got to stay high all my life to forget I'm missing you.

vespergreen's page activity

Visits<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - yesterday at 11:16pm<b>isaac_llama01</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 11:42pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 10:11am<b>Fancyman123</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 6:35am<b>Shorty197</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 2:08am<b>quiet_storm09</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 4:10am<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:12am<b>sammy1021</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:25pm<b>srinivasawesum</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 2:47am<b>nela25</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 10:51am<b>NWO666</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 4:46pm<b>chris1045</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 1:06am<b>Live4funny</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 8:44am<b>thebeast74</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 12:41am<b>zeriously95</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 4:25am<b>wild_cherry</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 7:45am<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 4:13pm<b>Jenra</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 9:11am

Liked!<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - yesterday at 5:16am

vespergreen's FML badges

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of vespergreen's badges

vespergreen's favorite FMLs

Today, I read that egg whites make a good hair treatment. Everything was going fine until, without thinking, I turned the hot water on to wash it out. I'm still picking the cooked egg out of my hair. FML

#21129302
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24610) - you deserved it (32309)

On 05/03/2014 at 12:57am - misc - by EggHead - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a cute guy and decided to say hi. As I started to think about things to talk about, one story in particular about a drummer who looked like Jesus stuck out in my mind. I was so nervous that instead of saying hi, I blurted out, "Some people look like Jesus!" and took off. FML

Today, my great-grandmother uttered the phrase, "Just because I'm gray up here, doesn't mean I'm gray down there!" FML

#21120495
108 comments

Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet again been mistaken for a 1-800 number. I've been getting phone calls at three in the morning from people on the east coast who are trying to return their shoes. They want to speak to my supervisor because I "don't sound professional enough." FML

Today, I joked to a client that every time I see his name, I start singing the song 'Dr Jones' by Aqua. He looked blankly at me, so I broke into song, 'Dr Jones, Dr Jones, calling Dr Jones... ' He still looked blankly, but now also utterly horrified, as were the rest of the waiting room. FML

#21119159
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31532) - you deserved it (10115)

On 04/21/2014 at 5:26pm - work - by banana_tree - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML

#21119041
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49570) - you deserved it (13789)

On 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by sexual parrot -

Today, I accidentally walked in on my mom cheating on my step-dad with my real dad. FML

Today, my dad made me stick my gut out and walk around awkwardly, just so I'd look pregnant and let him get away with parking in an "expectant mothers" parking spot. FML

#21118067
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38586) - you deserved it (4343)

On 04/20/2014 at 1:21pm - misc - by Not-pregnant (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50485) - you deserved it (4431)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, after living in my apartment for nearly a year, I heard my neighbor having a violent toilet session. Now I realize he's always been able to hear the wrath of my bowels too. We wave at each other every day. FML

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML

#21116703
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41510) - you deserved it (6650)

On 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Norway (Nordland)

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40359) - you deserved it (7940)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML

#21116585
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39321) - you deserved it (4364)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

#21116112
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21839) - you deserved it (53757)

On 04/18/2014 at 7:09am - health - by Ow (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after ten years, our sewing machine broke. My mom tried to return it back to the store she bought it from. FML

#21115731
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37217) - you deserved it (3608)

On 04/17/2014 at 7:24pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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