About vespergreen : I got to stay high all my life to forget I'm missing you.
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vespergreen's favorite FMLs
by swiggityswooty / 07/23/2014 at 12:09am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML
by Face fucking palm / 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I discovered that the odd creaking noise I hear when I walk down the stairs is actually a crack that had been getting larger over the years. I found out when I fell through and plummeted to the stairs below. FML
by Oldhouse / 07/21/2014 at 11:46pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by murrrrf / 07/21/2014 at 1:30am / United States (Missouri) / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/20/2014 at 1:23am / United States / Work
by Lisa / 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by familyhatesme / 07/18/2014 at 12:30pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by chloecamp / 07/14/2014 at 11:35pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by AFH2O / 07/14/2014 at 7:04pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML
by akaka / 07/14/2014 at 9:38am / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I went on a date and ate in the park. When I crossed my legs under the table, I scraped my knee and got a lot of splinters in it. When I got back home and started digging out the splinters, my dad furiously demanded to know why I'd been on my knees during the date. FML
by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 9:36pm / United States (Idaho) / Health
by and god shat / 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 7:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by oh my fucking god / 07/10/2014 at 9:34am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Love
Today, my boss delivered some flowers and a sympathy card signed by everyone in the office to my cubicle. The card said, "Sorry your mom died". My mom isn't dead. I don't know where they got the idea from and no one believes me. They said that denial is part of grieving. FML
by ninnang / 07/09/2014 at 5:37pm / United States (Hawaii) / Work
- Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, at 11:30 p.m., after a 5-hour train journey to get back to Paris carrying a suitcase that’s… Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the…