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vespergreen

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vespergreen

7Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2319
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About vespergreen : I got to stay high all my life to forget I'm missing you.

vespergreen's page activity

Visits<b>christian1509</b> - yesterday at 10:55pm<b>allybae_aye</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 10:15pm<b>Journiexo</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 10:14pm<b>Naaaah</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 4:15pm<b>Paultheouctopus</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 3:32am<b>travisrwr</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 10:34pm<b>thepurplewalrus</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:03pm<b>ulises575</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 12:24pm<b>Nolanation97</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 6:16am<b>minutepoet</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 11:44pm<b>gurbism</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 1:26am<b>sirpantselot</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 1:00am<b>Rfads5</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 10:20pm<b>DHoang22</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 9:02pm<b>mexykan14</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 8:08pm<b>HondaBeans</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 6:50pm<b>nreed32</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 6:36pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 6:02pm

Liked!<b>christian1509</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 11:12pm<b>minutepoet</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 5:44am<b>hobosapien081</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 11:45pm<b>IspSG</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 11:39pm<b>isorang</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 4:22pm<b>alitaba21fx</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 12:42pm<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 5:16am

vespergreen's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of vespergreen's badges

vespergreen's favorite FMLs

Today, I got the, "It's not you, it's me" speech for the third breakup in a row. I'm beginning to think that they may not be entirely telling me the truth. FML

#21217897
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40618) - you deserved it (6355)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:09am - love - by swiggityswooty - United States (California)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35131) - you deserved it (11496)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I discovered that the odd creaking noise I hear when I walk down the stairs is actually a crack that had been getting larger over the years. I found out when I fell through and plummeted to the stairs below. FML

#21216856
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39998) - you deserved it (4864)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:46pm - misc - by Oldhouse (man) - United States (California)

Today, as I was on the couch taking a nap, it started violently shaking. I panicked and chased my family outside, convinced it was an earthquake. It was just the cat trapped inside the couch. FML

Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset about being locked up. When I got to his cell, he threw one of his own turds at me through the bars. I took a hit. FML

#21214798
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48218) - you deserved it (3776)

On 07/20/2014 at 1:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46813) - you deserved it (6634)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at my grandma's funeral. While giving the eulogy, I accidentally mixed up "You will be missed" and "You won't be forgotten" and instead said "You won't be missed." FML

#21212849
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42373) - you deserved it (6828)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:30pm - misc - by familyhatesme - United States (Washington)

Today, every house in my neighborhood was vandalized. They skipped our house. Everybody thinks it was me. FML

#21209396
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50744) - you deserved it (3645)

On 07/14/2014 at 11:35pm - misc - by chloecamp - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got chewed out by a parent for putting her kid underwater. I teach swim lessons. FML

#21209168
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41280) - you deserved it (3404)

On 07/14/2014 at 7:04pm - work - by AFH2O - United States (California)

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, I went on a date and ate in the park. When I crossed my legs under the table, I scraped my knee and got a lot of splinters in it. When I got back home and started digging out the splinters, my dad furiously demanded to know why I'd been on my knees during the date. FML

#21206411
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44181) - you deserved it (4214)

On 07/11/2014 at 9:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

#21206318
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44241) - you deserved it (8279)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50619) - you deserved it (6626)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

#21204913
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46596) - you deserved it (8154)

On 07/10/2014 at 9:34am - love - by oh my fucking god (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my boss delivered some flowers and a sympathy card signed by everyone in the office to my cubicle. The card said, "Sorry your mom died". My mom isn't dead. I don't know where they got the idea from and no one believes me. They said that denial is part of grieving. FML

#21204205
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43701) - you deserved it (3078)

On 07/09/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by ninnang - United States (Hawaii)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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