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vespergreen

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vespergreen

7Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2312
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About vespergreen : I got to stay high all my life to forget I'm missing you.

vespergreen's page activity

Visits<b>christian1509</b> - 12 hours ago<b>allybae_aye</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 10:15pm<b>Journiexo</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 10:14pm<b>Naaaah</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 4:15pm<b>Paultheouctopus</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 3:32am<b>travisrwr</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 10:34pm<b>thepurplewalrus</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:03pm<b>ulises575</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 12:24pm<b>Nolanation97</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 6:16am<b>minutepoet</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 11:44pm<b>gurbism</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 1:26am<b>sirpantselot</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 1:00am<b>Rfads5</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 10:20pm<b>DHoang22</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 9:02pm<b>mexykan14</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 8:08pm<b>HondaBeans</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 6:50pm<b>nreed32</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 6:36pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 6:02pm

Liked!<b>christian1509</b> - yesterday at 11:12pm<b>minutepoet</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 5:44am<b>hobosapien081</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 11:45pm<b>IspSG</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 11:39pm<b>isorang</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 4:22pm<b>alitaba21fx</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 12:42pm<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 5:16am

vespergreen's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of vespergreen's badges

vespergreen's favorite FMLs

Today, my psychotic step-dad asked me if I'm doing drugs. I replied with a massive amount of sarcasm: "Yeah, all of 'em. Especially meth." He flipped out, searched my room top to bottom, then grounded me "for good" until I tell him where I hid the supposed drugs. FML

#21233273
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39658) - you deserved it (11804)

On 08/09/2014 at 1:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while I was working customer support, a lady hung up on me mid-sentence, and I trailed off, saying "…aaannnddd you hung up on me like a bitch." Turned out she was still on the line and had just accidentally hit mute. FML

#21232769
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23460) - you deserved it (36059)

On 08/08/2014 at 8:16pm - work - by suspended (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I fell asleep in the doctor's waiting room. When I woke up, the room was empty, and there was a $1 bill tucked into my cleavage. FML

#21232452
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36002) - you deserved it (5966)

On 08/08/2014 at 10:43am - misc - by freakedout (woman) - United States

Today, my boss pretty much told me that I'm too ugly to meet clients, and should stay in the office doing the paperwork. So basically, I'm a modern day Hunchback of Notre Dame. FML

#21232284
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37023) - you deserved it (3172)

On 08/08/2014 at 2:13am - work - by Anonymous - Singapore

Today, at the pool, I decided to face my fears and go off the high dive. I slipped off the edge and did a barrel roll into the pool while screaming like a little girl. FML

#21231087
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32649) - you deserved it (5533)

On 08/06/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by poolfail -

Today, I posted an ad online for house cleaning services. So far, all fifteen responses have been solicitations for sex. FML

#21229459
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34254) - you deserved it (3899)

On 08/04/2014 at 5:54pm - work - by notthenaughtymaid (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49122) - you deserved it (21239)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I met someone who works in radio advertising. Making conversation, I described an ad that I can't stand. He wrote it. FML

#21222884
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37675) - you deserved it (9026)

On 07/28/2014 at 6:16am - work - by Scotty (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my husband decided to play a recording of me breaking wind in my sleep to my whole family at the dinner table. To make matters worse, it was a compilation of different noises from over a long period of time. My family was horrified and my husband seemed proud of himself. FML

#21222673
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38095) - you deserved it (3851)

On 07/28/2014 at 12:36am - misc - by blow away - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This would have been fine, but her boyfriend is my little brother. FML

#21222459
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47970) - you deserved it (3922)

On 07/27/2014 at 9:55pm - intimacy - by why - United States

Today, I went to a comedy show with my mom, and they asked the audience members to yell out their problems as ideas for an improv skit. My mom yelled, "My daughter can't get a boyfriend!" FML

#21222137
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43086) - you deserved it (4179)

On 07/27/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by Yeppets (woman) - United States

Today, I got rear-ended because my ultra-clingy girlfriend wouldn't let go of my hand long enough for me to shift gears. FML

#21220481
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43320) - you deserved it (10295)

On 07/25/2014 at 5:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend saying to his friends, "I never knew what real contraception was until I saw Laura's face." I'm Laura. FML

#21219482
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39121) - you deserved it (3619)

On 07/24/2014 at 4:51pm - love - by I don't condome that, babe (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got fired from my job. Why? Apparently taking 10 minutes to take a shit is too long for some people. FML

#21219077
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42631) - you deserved it (7738)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:05am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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