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vespergreen

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vespergreen

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1787
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About vespergreen : I got to stay high all my life to forget I'm missing you.

vespergreen's page activity

Visits<b>Shorty197</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 2:08am<b>quiet_storm09</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 4:10am<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:12am<b>sammy1021</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:25pm<b>srinivasawesum</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 2:47am<b>nela25</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 10:51am<b>NWO666</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 4:46pm<b>chris1045</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 1:06am<b>Live4funny</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 8:44am<b>thebeast74</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 12:41am<b>zeriously95</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 4:25am<b>wild_cherry</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 7:45am<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 4:13pm<b>Jenra</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 9:11am<b>Arni792</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 12:20am<b>chaserich11</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 10:27pm<b>wyattray77</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 6:42pm<b>deathrowdiesel</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 12:40am

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vespergreen's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife got all excited when she saw the elevator we were in had a feature to make it go sideways. I didn't have the heart to tell her they were the buttons to open and close the door. FML

#21137819
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46538) - you deserved it (6071)

On 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm - misc - by Jarool - Canada (Alberta)

Today, three different strangers stopped me on the street and asked if I was Brad Pitt. Either there's some kind of conspiracy going on, or I'm the world's ugliest woman. FML

#21137630
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51086) - you deserved it (5025)

On 05/12/2014 at 10:38am - misc - by Lookalike (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, the tornado sirens went off so my family went to the basement and turned on the TV to the local news. The station goes to their sky cam as a trampoline flies by. Quite the sight. When the storm passed, I looked outside to see our trampoline was gone. It was the one flying by on TV. FML

#21137290
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48373) - you deserved it (4414)

On 05/11/2014 at 11:29pm - misc - by Gone With the Wind - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was teaching my 4 year old daughter how to use "stranger danger". Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML

#21134481
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46710) - you deserved it (6309)

On 05/08/2014 at 11:01pm - kids - by imnotastranger (man) -

Today, I was bored at work, so I started browsing the Internet. While I was on my Facebook page, my boss tagged me in a status: "I've been standing behind you for ten minutes." FML

#21134321
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22174) - you deserved it (46051)

On 05/08/2014 at 7:46pm - work - by notbrowsingnow (man) - United States

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

#21133982
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63392) - you deserved it (8077)

On 05/08/2014 at 9:55am - love - by STOP (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37445) - you deserved it (19871)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

#21133607
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37780) - you deserved it (5579)

On 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by BaggedDown (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50) - you deserved it (17951)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML

#21130670
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42858) - you deserved it (6126)

On 05/04/2014 at 5:07pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

#21130223
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45111) - you deserved it (4731)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:12am - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom discovered a new way to get over her breakup: yodelling. FML

#21129926
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38398) - you deserved it (3121)

On 05/03/2014 at 7:51pm - misc - by shylahrc - United States

Today, I read that egg whites make a good hair treatment. Everything was going fine until, without thinking, I turned the hot water on to wash it out. I'm still picking the cooked egg out of my hair. FML

#21129302
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24597) - you deserved it (32281)

On 05/03/2014 at 12:57am - misc - by EggHead - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a cute guy and decided to say hi. As I started to think about things to talk about, one story in particular about a drummer who looked like Jesus stuck out in my mind. I was so nervous that instead of saying hi, I blurted out, "Some people look like Jesus!" and took off. FML

Today, my great-grandmother uttered the phrase, "Just because I'm gray up here, doesn't mean I'm gray down there!" FML

#21120495
107 comments


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