About vespergreen : I got to stay high all my life to forget I'm missing you.
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vespergreen's favorite FMLs
by SCARRED / 08/29/2014 at 4:15pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by abbshows / 08/29/2014 at 2:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my parents sat me down and told me that I'm adopted. I took it in stride, and reassured them that as far as I'm concerned, they're my true parents. That annoyed them. Apparently the whole thing was a prank for a YouTube video, which I ruined by not crying or freaking out. FML
by hannahka / 08/29/2014 at 2:09pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Amithatevil / 08/29/2014 at 8:35am / Japan (Kanagawa) / Kids
by AgentOrion / 08/29/2014 at 12:16am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by That idiot / 08/27/2014 at 10:33pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids
by Woops / 08/27/2014 at 6:57pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work
by dr.mantistobagon / 08/27/2014 at 6:03pm / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy
Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML
by Anonymous / 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/24/2014 at 5:19pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Kids
Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML
by abusedparrot / 08/24/2014 at 8:40am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
by Anonymous / 08/21/2014 at 5:24pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Intimacy
Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML
by Anonymous / 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML
by Anonymous / 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…
- Today, I was talking with my slightly skinflint girlfriend, who just moved in with me. “I think you… Today, I travelled in a shared taxi on the winding roads of the Peruvian Andes. The guy next to me… Today, returning home, I found my roommate trying one of my bras. When he saw my shocked face, the…