Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 11/04/2014 at 1:58am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3434
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About vespergreen : I got to stay high all my life to forget I'm missing you.

vespergreen's page activity

Visits<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 3:24am<b>pickles1994</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 10:42pm<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 1:16am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 3:27pm<b>Rebekahxxx</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 5:55pm<b>karaanne21</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 9:00pm<b>christian1509</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 3:43pm<b>robsmit98</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 6:01pm<b>parkerhicks__</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 9:24pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 4:33pm<b>allybae_aye</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 10:15pm<b>Journiexo</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 10:14pm<b>Naaaah</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 4:15pm<b>Paultheouctopus</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 3:32am<b>travisrwr</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 10:34pm<b>thepurplewalrus</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:03pm<b>ulises575</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 12:24pm<b>Nolanation97</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 6:16am

Liked!<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 8:24am<b>pickles1994</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 3:42am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 5:24am<b>christian1509</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 11:12pm<b>minutepoet</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 5:44am<b>hobosapien081</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 11:45pm<b>IspSG</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 11:39pm<b>isorang</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 4:22pm<b>alitaba21fx</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 12:42pm<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 5:16am

vespergreen's FML badges


Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of vespergreen's badges

vespergreen's favorite FMLs

Today.. . my girlfriend texted me saying.. . ( I have some Durex an want yur help ) so I rushed to her house . She had meant to say ( Dulux ) . I had to help her paint her bedroom .


Today, my college did a fre drill, an instructions were given by intercom in English an Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English an Mexican, why say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, an he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents r related. real FML


I agree, your life sucks (35402) - you deserved it (2934)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today.. . I had to decline the sale of alcohol to a man who reeked of booze an was practically falling asleep at my till . He tried to convince me that he wasn't drunk.. . he was just blind . Still refusing to sell him the beer.. . he started yelling at me.. . accusing me of "bieng racist against the 'blinds'" . FML


I agree, your life sucks (36880) - you deserved it (2903)

On 09/11/2014 at 2:49am - work - by PerfectVision (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my grlfriend went sopping at Victoria's Secret wit me. Wile se was in te fitting room, er parents walkd by an saw me. Tey don't approve of te store, so I panickd an told tem I was considering becoming a woman.


I agree, your life sucks (42167) - you deserved it (11755)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my sister told me the reason y she went with me to a gay pride parade a few months ago was because she thought it would inspre me to come out!! FML

Today roommate decidd that cuz she has an oral report due she's going to scream at the top of her lungs until she loses her voice to get out of it. It's been two hours an she refuses to stop. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39096) - you deserved it (2573)

On 09/06/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by why me? - United States (Oklahoma)

Today , I just got back from a two week vacation. I live with six people and only the dog was happy to see me. mega FML


I agree, your life sucks (33243) - you deserved it (3228)

On 09/05/2014 at 2:54pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today... Younger Sister Ran Into Room... Telling Me Someone Was Trying To Break In. We Were Home Alone... So She Went To Hide As I Took A Crowbar An Followed The Intruder. Just As I Was About To Swing... He Turned Around: It Was Dad. I Had To Explain To Sister That Burglars Don't Have Keys. FML


Today, my husband askd our tax professional if we could file my profession as ( Expert Dream Murderer. ) I'm a guidance counselor. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34293) - you deserved it (4538)

On 09/03/2014 at 2:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Taday ma goat dacidad ma airstyla was so last saason and rastylad it for ma wit is taat . FML

Today, I went out with my best friend to McDonald's 4 a late night snack . Turns out she lid to me an just usd me to pick up the boy she likes so they could go stargazing . I'm now laying beside them as they look at the stars an make out . I just want fries . FML


I agree, your life sucks (45207) - you deserved it (4746)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:55pm - love - by emilyparker - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I Won A Gruelling Fitness Competition, Only To Fine Out Te Mystery Prize Was A Voucer To Get 10 Free Spray Tans. I'm Black. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48313) - you deserved it (3995)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Tadayhile finally about to make love with my long term boyfriend, he cummd from putting a condom on. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47710) - you deserved it (5393)

On 08/31/2014 at 11:14am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, I Was Called In Over Speakers At The Arport !! The Man Who Was Speaking Clerely And Nerely Burst Out Laughing When He Said My Name !! Soon, A Few People Around Also Snickered When They Hered It !! I Had To Wait Five Minutes Before I Could Casually Stand Up !! My Last Name Is Bastard !! FML


I agree, your life sucks (41447) - you deserved it (3225)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today... my 8 year old son askd me wy e ad to make is bd everyday if e would just use it again. I replid wit... ( You flus te toilet even toug you're going to use it again... rigt? ) He said... ( Good point. ) Now e's not making is bd or flusing te toilet. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37728) - you deserved it (9586)

On 08/29/2014 at 10:54pm - kids - by sam_666777 - United States (New York)

Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: