Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

vespergreen

Offline (the 11/04/2014 at 1:58am) | Search for a member

vespergreen

8Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2703
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About vespergreen : I got to stay high all my life to forget I'm missing you.

vespergreen's page activity

Visits<b>Toughsky</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 3:27pm<b>Rebekahxxx</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 5:55pm<b>karaanne21</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 9:00pm<b>christian1509</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 3:43pm<b>robsmit98</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 6:01pm<b>parkerhicks__</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 9:24pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 4:33pm<b>allybae_aye</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 10:15pm<b>Journiexo</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 10:14pm<b>Naaaah</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 4:15pm<b>Paultheouctopus</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 3:32am<b>travisrwr</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 10:34pm<b>thepurplewalrus</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:03pm<b>ulises575</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 12:24pm<b>Nolanation97</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 6:16am<b>minutepoet</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 11:44pm<b>gurbism</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 1:26am<b>sirpantselot</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 1:00am

Liked!<b>dakatabg</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 5:24am<b>christian1509</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 11:12pm<b>minutepoet</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 5:44am<b>hobosapien081</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 11:45pm<b>IspSG</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 11:39pm<b>isorang</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 4:22pm<b>alitaba21fx</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 12:42pm<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 5:16am

vespergreen's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of vespergreen's badges

vespergreen's favorite FMLs

Today, an American lady here in Ireland asked me if I was a Leprechaun. Thinking she was joking, and me being quite "vertically challenged," I decided to just say yes. She then grabbed me and made me endure photographs, cuddles and pats on the head from all her fellow tourists. FML

#21082683
188 comments

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mess around at my workplace's parking lot. Things got hot and steamy, but in the middle of it all, there came a bang at my car window. My frantic boss had seen us and thought I was being attacked. FML

#21080766
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32319) - you deserved it (25896)

On 03/07/2014 at 7:53pm - work - by unknown - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my grandmother what she looked like when she was young. She casually replied, "I was ugly, sweetie. Just like you." FML

#21080512
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39443) - you deserved it (3991)

On 03/07/2014 at 1:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, I was in bed staring at two red lights coming from my DVD player. They reminded me of the terminator movies, and I had to unplug it. I'm 23 years old and scared of The Terminator. FML

#21080429
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34235) - you deserved it (8299)

On 03/07/2014 at 10:41am - misc - by scaredypants123 - United States

Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML

#21079127
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36943) - you deserved it (14746)

On 03/05/2014 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)

Today, at work, I was standing around, doing nothing. When my coworker pointed this out, I laughed and said, "It's okay, I'm training for a supervisor position!" Guess who was standing right behind me. FML

#21079043
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33641) - you deserved it (16534)

On 03/05/2014 at 7:36pm - work - by sparkrok - United States (Washington)

Today, I saw a kid getting bullied; a girl was hitting him in the head. After having an inner struggle with what to do, I tried to stop them. Both kids then turned on me, and called me a "hippo". FML

#21078067
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38131) - you deserved it (3979)

On 03/04/2014 at 5:55pm - kids - by meandme (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML

#21077955
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41712) - you deserved it (2976)

On 03/04/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by fuck you, jack (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML

#21077619
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40017) - you deserved it (11097)

On 03/04/2014 at 4:06am - love - by booksandshadows (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML

#21076929
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41522) - you deserved it (4479)

On 03/03/2014 at 2:58pm - work - by Biologyfacepalm (woman) - United States

Today, it seems to have got to the point where I take fleas off my cat so often that I now have dreams about finding the biggest and most perfect flea. FML

Today, I was babysitting my 4-year-old cousin. She scraped her knee, and in an attempt to cheer her up, I put a refrigerator box over my head and waddled around like a penguin. She stopped crying, but only after I fell down a flight of tile stairs. FML

Today, after paying at the gas station, the cashier stuck out her hand, which was clenched into a fist. I thought she wanted a fist-bump, so I gave her one. She just stared back at me. Turns out she was just trying to give me my change. FML

#21075108
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37215) - you deserved it (14952)

On 03/01/2014 at 4:09pm - money - by SarahNB - United States (Utah)

Today, I confessed my love for the girl I like, on the forum she moderates. She responded by banning me. FML

#21074335
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35539) - you deserved it (14705) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/28/2014 at 4:26pm - love - by Depirama (man) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall, my mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked: 'TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK'. FML

#21073837
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39341) - you deserved it (3517)

On 02/28/2014 at 4:06am - kids - by Ohgodmother (man) - Australia (Tasmania)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: