About vespergreen : I got to stay high all my life to forget I'm missing you.
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vespergreen's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/18/2014 at 6:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Ow / 04/18/2014 at 7:09am / United States (Arizona) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/17/2014 at 7:24pm / United States (California) / Money
Today, I had my teacher look over my essay before turning it in. He said it was extremely well-written, so I handed it in. When I got it back, the feedback he left said it was one of the worst essays he'd ever read. FML
by badessaymyass / 04/17/2014 at 3:59pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML
by MILF / 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, I met up with an old friend of mine who acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time, but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily, so when he showed up I could only see him as his TV character and not as my friend. I ended up calling him by his character's name. FML
by Confused / 04/16/2014 at 12:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume over and over, and in different languages. I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go". FML
by fuckyouharddad / 04/15/2014 at 3:24pm / United States (California) / Kids
by stupiddog / 04/15/2014 at 8:08am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I handed in the answer sheet an hour into a 3-hour long exam because I couldn't answer most of the questions. Now, everyone thinks I'm genius because I "finished" quickly and they want me to tutor them. FML
by idontknowwhatiamdoing / 04/15/2014 at 12:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, while I was waiting for the bus, I was whistling. I saw a cute girl running and I looked at my phone so it didn't seem too awkward. I was still whistling as she passed by so it sounded like I whistled at her. She ran back to slap me. FML
by heycutie / 04/15/2014 at 12:24am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, after a dental appointment, my lips were numb. On the bus on my way back home, the cutest girl smiled at me. In attempt to smile back, I forgot my lips were numb and ended up spitting my chewing gum at her. I had to switch buses. FML
by Anonymous / 04/14/2014 at 6:12am / Malta / Miscellaneous
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML
by teddyissmall / 04/14/2014 at 2:29am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
Today, I was walking around school alone and felt someone tap my back. I laughed and turned around to find no one was there. I felt confused when I felt the tapping again, which is when I chose to yell at the nearest person, "What?!" I later found out it was a bottle in my backpack tapping me. FML
by ohmygod582 / 04/13/2014 at 9:32pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on a date with my boyfriend. As we walked back home from the cinema, he was checking his phone, when suddenly someone grabbed it and ran off. I had to be the one to go run after the thug because my 23-year-old boyfriend froze on the spot, crying. FML
by Ieri / 04/12/2014 at 5:56pm / Albania / Love