vespergreen

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Offline (the 11/04/2014 at 1:58am)

vespergreen

13Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8048
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About vespergreen : I got to stay high all my life to forget I'm missing you.

vespergreen's page activity

Visits<b>SpaceToast</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 9:40pm<b>Sharpshooterrr</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 1:56am<b>MannyM</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 12:29am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 4:09pm<b>krazy789</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 10:13pm<b>MrPerks93</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 5:47pm<b>jackthekeeper</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 9:44am<b>earlpam</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 9:47am<b>delfino1604</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 4:00am<b>wangwong</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 8:15am<b>_klausMH</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 2:49pm<b>DevilsMetsGiants</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 6:27pm<b>NikhilBajaj</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 2:15pm<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 2:37pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 3:24am<b>pickles1994</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 10:42pm<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 1:16am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 3:27pm

Fucked!<b>krazy789</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 4:13am<b>DevilsMetsGiants</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 12:27am<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 8:37pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 8:24am<b>pickles1994</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 3:42am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 5:24am<b>christian1509</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 11:12pm<b>minutepoet</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 5:44am<b>hobosapien081</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 11:45pm<b>IspSG</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 11:39pm<b>isorang</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 4:22pm<b>alitaba21fx</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 12:42pm<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 5:16am

vespergreen's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of vespergreen's badges

vespergreen's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2014 at 6:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

by Ow / 04/18/2014 at 7:09am / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, after ten years, our sewing machine broke. My mom tried to return it back to the store she bought it from. FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2014 at 7:24pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, I had my teacher look over my essay before turning it in. He said it was extremely well-written, so I handed it in. When I got it back, the feedback he left said it was one of the worst essays he'd ever read. FML

by badessaymyass / 04/17/2014 at 3:59pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML

by MILF / 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I met up with an old friend of mine who acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time, but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily, so when he showed up I could only see him as his TV character and not as my friend. I ended up calling him by his character's name. FML

by Confused / 04/16/2014 at 12:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume over and over, and in different languages. I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go". FML

by fuckyouharddad / 04/15/2014 at 3:24pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

by stupiddog / 04/15/2014 at 8:08am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I handed in the answer sheet an hour into a 3-hour long exam because I couldn't answer most of the questions. Now, everyone thinks I'm genius because I "finished" quickly and they want me to tutor them. FML

by idontknowwhatiamdoing / 04/15/2014 at 12:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, while I was waiting for the bus, I was whistling. I saw a cute girl running and I looked at my phone so it didn't seem too awkward. I was still whistling as she passed by so it sounded like I whistled at her. She ran back to slap me. FML

by heycutie / 04/15/2014 at 12:24am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a dental appointment, my lips were numb. On the bus on my way back home, the cutest girl smiled at me. In attempt to smile back, I forgot my lips were numb and ended up spitting my chewing gum at her. I had to switch buses. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2014 at 6:12am / Malta / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML

by teddyissmall / 04/14/2014 at 2:29am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking around school alone and felt someone tap my back. I laughed and turned around to find no one was there. I felt confused when I felt the tapping again, which is when I chose to yell at the nearest person, "What?!" I later found out it was a bottle in my backpack tapping me. FML

by ohmygod582 / 04/13/2014 at 9:32pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a date with my boyfriend. As we walked back home from the cinema, he was checking his phone, when suddenly someone grabbed it and ran off. I had to be the one to go run after the thug because my 23-year-old boyfriend froze on the spot, crying. FML