Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

vespergreen

Search for a member

vespergreen
  • Town/Country : Neverwhere
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1159
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About vespergreen : Your body contains the universe, and I want to touch every star.

vespergreen's last visitors

JenraArni792wyattray77ilickcowssocoldmusic13mazdatuner09yeatesjAFCCT

vespergreen's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of vespergreen's badges

vespergreen's favorite FMLs

Today, I was stuck in the elevator for almost two hours. Where was the elevator mechanic? Next to me in the elevator. FML

#21098357
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40364) - you deserved it (2568)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:42am - work - by ClaustrophobicNightmares - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, I took my 12 year-old to the orthodontist. While I was talking to the dentist about what was needing to be done, my daughter listened. With a straight face, the dentist joked, "Yeah, we're going to need to rip off her entire jaw." My daughter won't leave her room anymore. FML

#21098025
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36322) - you deserved it (4237)

On 03/27/2014 at 8:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was sitting in the coffee shop where my boyfriend and I used to go before he broke up with me about a week ago. I was missing him and wishing he was there, when all of a sudden this 14-year-old kid comes up to me and says, "He's not coming, you may as well go home." FML

#21097979
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39775) - you deserved it (5422)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:03pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I wanted to eat my last bowl of sugary cereal before starting my new diet. I fell down the stairs with the full bowl in hand. Message received, universe. FML

#21097759
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35888) - you deserved it (6762)

On 03/27/2014 at 2:10pm - health - by bonbon789 - United States

Today, my teacher told us at least 7 different stories about his cat, Jeremy, and how much he eats. And he wonders why we never get anything done in his class. FML

#21097211
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32544) - you deserved it (2685)

On 03/26/2014 at 7:45pm - animals - by alicia75 - United States (Indiana)

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML

#21095586
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35763) - you deserved it (2493)

On 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by Vampprobs - United States (Michigan)

Today, my clingy girlfriend refused to leave me alone long enough for me to read an article about dealing with clingy girlfriends. FML

#21095315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38289) - you deserved it (5193)

On 03/24/2014 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my non-English-speaking grandma bought me a new t-shirt. It would've been sweet if it didn't have the word "bondage" written on the back in pretty, bold letters. I had no choice but to wear it while we went shopping. FML

#21094283
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32129) - you deserved it (3084)

On 03/23/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - Egypt

Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML

#21093737
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33045) - you deserved it (11062)

On 03/22/2014 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

#21093670
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36878) - you deserved it (9372)

On 03/22/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by campus pussy (man) - United States (California)

Today, once again I was told I looked a bit like Lindsay Lohan. I can't figure out if they mean the young, good looking one, or the current cracked out rehab version. FML

#21093234
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35324) - you deserved it (3647)

On 03/22/2014 at 3:18am - misc - by Jen__ - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got to spend 4 hours on a bus with a group of selfie-taking teenagers who spent the majority of the time trying to harmonize while singing various songs. I'm pretty sure half of them were tone deaf. FML

#21092926
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34926) - you deserved it (3314)

On 03/21/2014 at 7:59pm - misc - by please stop singing!!!! - United States (Florida)

Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML

#21091119
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35799) - you deserved it (4519)

On 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm - misc - by BigBlue (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went on a date. As I hugged him, I felt tingles. As a big believer in clichés, I thought it was the tingles of falling in love. Turns out, it was my allergic reaction to his cologne. I now look like I burned my face. FML

#21087087
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38625) - you deserved it (4204)

On 03/15/2014 at 3:35am - love - by Burning Love - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had the cops called on me for acting suspiciously. I was using a payphone. FML

#21086220
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38316) - you deserved it (3234)

On 03/14/2014 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: